- Brother Magillicutty: He's old school. He doesn't like profanity. He doesn't like all this "fuck you", "suck a cock", "eat an asshole".
- Anus Magillicutty: Now why don't you scrub my nuts or something?
- Anus's Woman: How do you always know what to say?
- Anus Magillicutty: I'm a romantic at heart.
- Anus Magillicutty: I thought you said you live behind the dumpster?
- The White Trash Piece of Shit: [sputters] This isn't debate class! I didn't go to fancy schools and learn a lot of math.
- Anus's Woman: [after a really long sex scene] Are you gonna cum?
- Anus Magillicutty: Oh! Was I supposed to cum?
- Anus Magillicutty: Remember that contract we had with Satan? To make us beautiful?
- Brother Magillicutty: Yeah I do.
- Anus Magillicutty: I think he's come to collect.
- Brother Magillicutty: [sarcastic] Sure.