Red vs. Blue (2003–2024)

Jordan Burns: Lady Donut

Quotes 

• [Church and Tex are in Caboose's mind and are encountering his mental images of all the characters] 

  Caboose's Church : Attention Reds! The great Caboose demands an audience with you, so listen up ya blowjobbing cocksuckers!

  [the Reds appear from behind obstacles one by one] 

  Simmons : Caboose? Oh no, he's come to kill us!

  Grif : [he is wearing yellow]  Will someone please help me? I don't wanna die.

  Lady Donut : I love Caboose and yet I'm still afraid of him.

  Sarge : [in a pirate voice]  Arrgh. I be havin' a southern accent. Yorgh.

  Lady Donut : He's so scary.

  Caboose : Fear not, Reds. I come here not to destroy, but instead to ask for your assistance on this day.

  Church : Okay woah woah woah woah woah. I gotta correct a couple things I'm hearing.

  [to the fake Church] 

  Church : First of all, you? You're not Caboose's best friend. Okay? You don't have a best friend. You know why? You don't need one! You're Church! Knowing other people just waters down the experience! Live the dream, buddy!

  Caboose's Church : Shove it, dick-sniffer!

  Church : And Caboose? Come on, dude. Seriously? Have you paid attention to our enemies for one second?

  Caboose : I beg your pardon?

  Church : First of all, that guy,

  [Grif] 

  Church : he's not yellow. He's orange. And since when is there a girl on the red team?

  Lady Donut : My favorite thing is pretty dresses.

  Sarge : Argh. I got termites in me leg.

  Church : And that is not a southern accent.

  Sarge : Arr.

  Lady Donut : Do you have any tampons?

  Church : Seriously, what is the matter with you people?

  Tex : Calm down, Church!

  Grif : Don't kill us, Mr. Sidekick!

  Caboose's Church : Hey butt-brunch! I'm Caboose's sidekick, not him! Shut your pie-hole!