- Jimmy: Tell them what you told me.
- Phil the Alien: I like whiskey.
- Jimmy: No, after that.
- Phil the Alien: On my planet, there is no violence.
- Ginger: That's so inspiring.
- Phil the Alien: Except for twice a year when the weather changes, and then there is a brief period of ultra-violence.
- [last lines]
- Phil the Alien: Dave?
- Dave: Yeah Phil?
- Phil the Alien: C'mon let's go... you drive...
- Dave: Really?
- Phil the Alien: [holds up keys] Really...
- Madame Madame: [Phil is unresponsive to Madame Madame's advances] Does the possibility of sex with me terrify you that much?
- Jimmy: Are you staying with friends?
- Phil the Alien: I'm staying with a beaver, down by the brook.
- Jimmy: Oh... ha... Sounds good!
- Phil the Alien: It's good.
- Sammy the Alien: I'll have two of them prime ribs and in between them some peanut butter. A leather model of the Taj Mahal filled with some kind of jelly... I don't care, grape, blueberry, it doesn't matter. Some cats, a dwarf riding a pumpkin. Also, could I get a snake in the form of a man's belt with the belt hook right around its head. Spitting poison, constantly spitting poison. If you could poke it with a stick a couple of times before you bring it to the table. Also, could I have a flaming ice cream model of the planet Uranus. It's my favourite planet. I love ice cream and flames are quite exciting. And then id like some uh, could you just cover your fist with grape jelly and then punch me in the throat.