(2003 Video)

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Mangled, low-effort Vivid feature by Stanley
lor_28 July 2017
His mission: deliver one of dozens of interchangeable Kira Kener vehicles to Vivid Video, then in its salad days atop the heap of porn distributors. Result: director David Stanley horsed around and a defective junker was released to adoring Kener fans.

Yes, as she emphasizes repeatedly in the BTS short subject on the DVD, Kener was a big, big star. To hear her tell it, nobody in the business could compare with her live shows, fans' adoration, etc.

Be that as it may, this video has little to offer other than a chance to gaze at her big, beautiful and natural breasts. I tried to enjoy it, as I'm an admirer of filmmaker David Stanley's work in general, but a major incompetent blunder ruined the film. The musical track, annoying choices throughout, blares loudly and drowns out completely many of the key dialog scenes. Before you declare "who cares about dialog in porn?", the inevitable refrain of a brainwashed electorate, I can counter that it is always crucial to a Stanley picture, as he's basically a screenwriter who often also directs rather than vice versa. If porn a decade or two ago worked without benefit of scripts (as is the case in today's gonzo world) then Stanley would have never had a career in Adult Cinema to begin with.

The main character apart from XXX delivery is not Kener but actually a baker/bakeshop owner Arzu played flatly by Ashley Blue. She is hooked up by self-appointed matchmaker Kener to have a date with Kener's pal Chris Cannon, and also to bake him a life-size birthday cake to fulfill his hoary request of having a babe jump out of it and service him at his birthday party.

What transpires is an uninteresting series of scenes merely to provide seven sex encounters that will make the Vivid Entertainment brass happy. Whether they or Stanley himself chose to ruin the video by drowning out the dialog is a moot question - I suspect I'm the only person on God's green Earth who cares at this point, the title buried in the quiescent Vivid's catalog with zero interest in watching it over a decade later.

Endless foot fetish action, the director's #1 quirk, is on display and perhaps the justification (apart from feeding demand for Kener product back then) for this feature to exist. Cannon is tiresome in the main male role, and only Michelle Michaels, as a girl dominating him with the usual dripped candle wax and even applying a heated-up coated hanger not favored by Joan Crawford to his skin before delivering anal sex survives the debacle as a promising performer.
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