Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again (2004 TV Special)

Larry the Cable Guy: Self

Quotes 

• Female Audience Member : I LOVE YOU, LARRY!

  Larry The Cable Guy : I told you to wait in the truck!

• Larry The Cable Guy : I believe that sometimes you gotta wreck the truck to get the insurance money to make the truck payment.

  Jeff Foxworthy : That is brilliant, right there!

• Larry The Cable Guy : [introducing "I Believe"]  This is a song we writ.

  Bill Engvall : [interrupting]  Woah, woah, woah.

  Jeff Foxworthy , Bill Engvall : "Writ"?

  Larry The Cable Guy : Writ.

  Ron White : I didn't "writ" any of it.

  Larry The Cable Guy : You writ two-thirds of it. Or a quarter of it.

  Bill Engvall : Don't try to do math.

  Jeff Foxworthy : If Larry is going to start doing fractions, you may want to go to the concession stand or the restroom.

  [Bill laughs] 

• Jeff Foxworthy : [to Larry, after Larry picks at his guitar]  How old are you?

  Larry The Cable Guy : Old enough to learn how to play this song.

  Bill Engvall : Wait, when is your birthday?

  Larry The Cable Guy : February 17th.

  Jeff Foxworthy : No, what year is your birthday?

  Larry The Cable Guy : ...Every year.

  Bill Engvall : [to Jeff]  You asked.

• Larry The Cable Guy : I believe that guns don't kill people, husbands that come home early do.

• Larry The Cable Guy : I believe... that Britney Spears should be one of Baskin Robbins' 31 flavors.

  [Bill whispers something to Larry, and Larry laughs] 

  Larry The Cable Guy : [laughing]  Two scoops!

• Larry The Cable Guy : I believe the Crippled stool is the Cadillac of the poopin' stool.

• Larry The Cable Guy : I believe that no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you can not baptize cats.

• Larry The Cable Guy : Did you know Britney Spears hurt her leg and had to cancel some dates? But they said with the proper rehabilitation she'll be back on her knees in no time, so that's... get her done. That's funny. I don't care who you are, that's funny right there.

• Larry The Cable Guy : Do you know what Tulsa spelled backwards is? A slut. Do you know what a slut spelled backwards is? A millon dollars.

• Larry The Cable Guy : [explaining why he uses the handicapped toilets in public restrooms]  They're always kept clean, so you know it ain't dirty. You got plenty of room to stretch your legs out, and you've got rails for power squeezing.

  Jeff Foxworthy : [aside, to Ron]  He's thought this out!