Clerks II (2006)
Steven Rau: Diner #1
Quotes
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Hobbit Lover : Hey man.
Elias : [Puts on Mooby's hat] Welcome to Mooby's, may I take your order?
Hobbit Lover : Yeah um, let's see... Give me one udderly delicious Moo-ilk shake, Skinny Calf and a, order of onion rings. Thanks.
Elias : [Typing into register. To himself:] "One ring to rule them all."
Hobbit Lover : [Surprised] "One ring to find them."
Randal Graves : [Eavesdropping] Oh Jesus.
Elias : "One ring to bring them all."
Hobbit Lover : "And in the darkness bind them!"
Elias : [Hi-5's the Hobbit Lover] Yes! How many times?
Hobbit Lover : Umm, three for 'Fellowship', two for 'Towers', *four* for 'Return'.
Elias : [Showing off] Five for return.
Hobbit Lover : Dude.
Randal Graves : Okay, look. There's only one 'Return', okay, and it ain't of 'The King', it's of 'The Jedi'.
Hobbit Lover : [to Elias] Oh, Star Wars geek.
Randal Graves : Oh I'm the geek? Look at you two whipping out your preciouses.
Elias : [to Hobbit Lover] You'll have to excuse him. He's not 'down' with the trilogy.
Randal Graves : Oh, what the fuck happened to this world? There's only one trilogy you fucking morons.
Hobbit Lover : You know what, maybe we should start calling your friend Padme, because he loves Mannequin Skywalker so much, right?
[Robotic genstures and monotone, imitating Anakin Skywalker]
Hobbit Lover : Danger, danger, my name is Anakin. My shitty acting is ruining saga.
Elias : [Chuckles] Yeah, you're crazy, Jar-Jar.
Randal Graves : Oh I'm crazy? Those fucking hobbit movies were boring as hell. All it was was a bunch of people walking. Three movies of people walking to a fucking volcano... Here's the first movie...
[Walks in a straight line, doped]
Randal Graves : ... And here's the second movie...
[Walks in a straight line and steps]
Randal Graves : ...
Hobbit Lover : He is way off. Loser.
Randal Graves : ...You ready for the third movie?
[Walks in a straight line again, and, at the end, pretends to take a ring off his finger and throw it away, then shrugs]
Diner #1 : Fuckin' A.