I don't know how the hell they. got Gary Oldman in this monster, but it doesn't help. The main story behind this film is a uncredited rip-off of a Roald Dahl short story, and the writer should be whipped and beaten with spiny sticks.
The story is half narrated by Kyle, who has nothing interesting to say and, in fact, is a complete idiot, and half-narrated by two wandering musicians, one of whom is a dead-ringer for "The Dude" in The Big Lebowski. Lame, guys, lame.
British accents came and went, badly written lines were further mutilated, and Roald Dahl spun his casket halfway across the cemetery. This movie is free, understand, and I'm still telling you: don't waste your time. 1/10
The story is half narrated by Kyle, who has nothing interesting to say and, in fact, is a complete idiot, and half-narrated by two wandering musicians, one of whom is a dead-ringer for "The Dude" in The Big Lebowski. Lame, guys, lame.
British accents came and went, badly written lines were further mutilated, and Roald Dahl spun his casket halfway across the cemetery. This movie is free, understand, and I'm still telling you: don't waste your time. 1/10
