Mobsters and Mormons (2005) Poster

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7/10
Fun & Funny
sidunrau12 September 2005
This movie is great fun! The actors are great, the points for both Mormons and non-Mormons are great (and not preachy, except maybe to some uppity Mormons, who are given a great picture of themselves), and the story is just hilarious.

I was glad to see some new actors in this one. Yeah, some of the same-old recycled typical Mo-actors were there, but there were some great new faces to enjoy, and not at all bad actors.

My only complaint: the filming was WAYYYyyy uneven. In the beginning and sprinkled throughout some of the scenes seem to have been shot on a hand-held standard (i.e. not movie-quality) video camera, and it shows.

Yeah, it's cheesy - but it's good clean fun. I gave it a 7 because it's definitely a good movie, family-safe, though not a great classic.
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7/10
Genuinely Funny and Emotionally Endearing
notyourordinarymoviecritic12 September 2005
This movie was not just entertaining and funny; it had a surprisingly good message around the theme of not judging others. The soundtrack and opening sequence were surprisingly of a professional quality. And Mark DeCarlo's rendition/version of the kids' story "The Three Little Pigs" was completely hilarious. Jan Broberg Felt, who plays a stuck on herself Mormon gossip, is a great actress. Mark DeCarlo by far carries the acting and humor, but the other supporting actors complement him well. I was especially impressed by Clayton Taylor and the girl (cannot remember her name) who plays his "love" interest. They play their parts convincingly.

My only complaint for the movie was that the pacing in the storyline seemed off at times. Other than that, it was very well done.

I think someone has found a happy medium in the LDS genre--a movie that's not over-cooked or under-done; it's just about right.
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5/10
Good Movie That Appeals to Everyone
Lord-Sean-of-ignorance10 September 2005
I'll admit that the title might incline people to place it in the category of those other Mormon movies that are kind of preachy and just for Mormons. But as the saying goes: "Don't judge a book by its cover" and all that jazz.

I went into this film with some of my family from Utah and with a dreading attitude. I was expecting there to be 2,000 jokes I wouldn't get and that only those involved deeply in the Mormon church would get...I was wrong.

As the movie starts we're introduced to Carmine, an ambitious Italian-American mobster who is climbing the crime ladder of success until the Feds finally get some dirt on him and bring him in. In the process, he cuts a deal with them, rats a few people out, and him, his wife and teenage son are put in the Witness Protection Program and sent to a model Mormon Utah neighborhood as the "Cheesemans."

And with this culture some enjoyable comedy follows as Carmine's family adjusts to the way things are run: Carmine can't get a decent cup of coffee or grasp the fact that Mormons don't drink or "have fun"; his son steals a Mormon minister's satellite dish, and goes out for wrestling, thinking that it's mandatory to whack the other guy in the face; and his wife makes the mistake of ordering a pizza with pineapple which results in Carmine leaving to go eat somewhere else and her downing an entire bottle of wine and passing out.

I found myself laughing at a lot of the jokes, even though they played on Mormon, Christian, and Italian-American stereotypes. This movie doesn't just appeal to Mormons or Christians, it can be enjoyed by almost anyone.

So overall, a good comedy for the whole family. A little cheesy at times, but very enjoyable and comes out on top with a good message. If it comes to a theater near you, check it out. *** out of *****
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4/10
Good acting, not-so-good story
ianodea10 September 2007
Warning: Spoilers
Mobsters and Mormons started off with a scene that brought me back to the first time I watched Pulp Fiction. Mark DeCarlo took the place of Samuel Jackson and his buddies got to play something of an even more inept John Travolta. The entire opening bit was great, as far as I am concerned. The movie just seems to lose its steam after Mark DeCarlo's character, Carmine, and his family are relocated to Utah.

Almost every single person they meet out in the land of salt flats and Mormons seems to be portrayed by an actor that hardly knows their part. The only two characters I really felt anything for, outside of the "Cheeseman" family, were Julie (played by Olesya Rulin) and her brother, Michael. (played by Scott Christopher) While this is probably because their characters were the two outside of the "Cheeseman" family that experienced the most development over the course of the movie, (I might even go out on a limb and say they were the ONLY characters to be developed) I still think that there were plenty of chances to flesh out other members of the community that were not taken advantage of.

  • Spoilers Ahead -


On top of all of this, the story was all too predictable. Now, this isn't always a bad thing, but it definitely was in this case. The only thing that happened which surprised me was the fact that their family didn't end up moving to the Philippines at the end of the movie. The only thing that saved this movie from the pitfalls of the story were the aforementioned actors efforts to believably play their roles throughout, which actually managed to tug on my heartstrings a little bit.

Overall a decent movie, definitely not something I will watch often, if I ever watch it again at all.
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10/10
This movie is great!
lschase14 January 2006
Mark DeCarlo was excellent as Carmine "The Beans" Pasquale. My whole family loved this humorous movie, from my 9 year old on up. We laughed throughout the whole film. I would highly recommend this movie to anyone in need of a good laugh. The rest of the cast was delightful. Jeanette Puhich, in her role as Mrs. Pasquale , reminded me of "Guys and Dolls". She and Mark did an excellent job of poking fun of at the stereotype of the mob. It's also good to see that the Latter Day Saint population can also poke fun at themselves. Speaking as a member of the church, this movie probably appeals more to members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints because we can see how silly we are sometimes. There was a similar movie made earlier with Steve Martin as a mobster in the witness protection program. I love Steve Martin, but Mobsters and Mormons did a much better job. This movie was great!
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1/10
I feel like someone stuffed a dry cracker up my _ _ _ (fill in the blanks)
OpinionatedJM12 December 2005
I don't know how I managed to sit through this unfunny, blah, unworthy to be called cinema, piece of dry granola. I guess just so that I could give it a fair review, HA!

Nothing funny at all in this, all I have to say is latter day saints have way too much money on their hands, to just start making propaganda movies. Oh well everybody does it. Every character in the movie was annoying and you just feel bad for the poor wannabe be bishop brother who just seems to be living in the middle of the most uncomfortable neighborhood in America.

I guess you can't really blame the LDS's for not having a sense of humor, so if this movie helps them chill a bit all the better.

I'm just posting this here as a warning for the Unfaithful, if you wanna see a good film starring LDS's watch Trey Parkers "Orgazmo" (1997) now that's a decent film!

OK now this must be some worthwhile review!!! because it's the one with the worst ranking on my puny list
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9/10
Great "family" film
ChrisPUT23 November 2005
I've seen this movie three times and can't wait for the DVD. I've seen John Moyer do stand up and I'll bet the commentary will be a riot.

I would say this is the best movie he's done. . . yet. I expect they'll only continue to get better. The only problem I can foresee with the DVD would be my kids wearing it out and driving me nuts repeating dialogue. (Of course quoting Mobsters would bet the heck out of them quoting Ed, Edd and Eddy.)

I think the best thing about this movie (other than the comedy) would be that it takes an outsiders view. The main complaint I've heard about Singles Ward and the R.M. is that they have too many inside jokes just for LDS members (or even "Utah Mormons.") Using a displaced mafioso as the main character allowed the movie to explain things to the audience without turning it into a missionary discussion.

I think the other nice thing it did was to point out that we are all human and we all have flaws and thinking you are better than someone else for any reason is one of the biggest flaws we can have.

and it did all this while making us laugh. . . and without any swearing or sex or violence (well, there was a paint-ball killing.)
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Could have been so much more!
sziraki13 December 2005
First of all, I liked the movie. But there were times I just felt like crying rather than laughing.

It's just too stupid at times. The movie could have been so much better! I didn't like the fact that we never heard about the Mormons beliefs(I find them the silliest in the world), but I guess people in the US wouldn't be ready for some "making fun of a religion."

However, the movie manages to show two opposite sides of a spectrum; mobster and Mormon, angry VS happy, good VS evil...continue to tired...

Overall: OK+ movie, because it makes me want a Mormon girl, teach her a thing or two about life AND sex!
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5/10
Bada Bing, Bada Mormon
bkoganbing23 March 2012
It was one big old culture shock for Mark DeCarlo and his family in Mobsters and Mormons. The cheerful hit-man who has run afoul of his former associates is now in witness protection. But what a place they've relocated him to. A small town in Utah where 98% of the populace is of the LDS church. The man just can't relate to those folks although at least one neighboring family headed by Scott Christopher does their best to make him feel at home.

These folks operate on a whole set of different values than DeCarlo's been brought up to believe. And poor DeCarlo can't get a decent pizza and his craving for real coffee nearly gets him and his family killed.

It's an interesting idea for a comedy, but sadly lacking verisimilitude. Witness protection has had almost as many failures as successes. The most notable example of that was Sammy 'the Bull' Gravano who while in witness protection got involved in a few local rackets of his own creation. Those folks don't think like most of us relatively normal gentiles let alone those of the LDS faith. It's a gulf of the minds I think is almost impossible to cross.

Still Mobsters And Mormons has a few good moments, my favorite is DeCarlo giving some young kids the gangland New Jersey version of the Three Little Pigs. I wish the film had more moments like those.
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1/10
Insulting To Nearly Everyone in and out of Utah
cassini200430 December 2005
Warning: Spoilers
As one who was born and grew up in Salt Lake City (and a *former* mormon), I know my way around the mormon shtick. I received this movie as a Christmas gift and, against my better judgement, was pressured into actually watching it by my friends who were certain it would prove another fine entry in our "bad movie night" lineup. Sadly, they were all disappointed, and I was not surprised. Onward...

The plot (such as it is) concerns a Jersey mobster who is being stepped over for promotion in the "organization". He then botches up a kidnapping, is caught, and enters the witness protection program after ratting out his boss to the law. He and his family (wife and son) are then shipped to Utah amongst the mormons.

"And then rampant hilarity ensues..." is probably what most people watching this film are expecting next. Rather, I sat in a perpetual state of boredom as one poorly formed gag followed another. Writer/ Director John Moyer presents his viewers with every tired and clichéd stereotype associated with mormons and non-mormons alike. He successfully manages to insult mormons, non- mormons, New Jerseyites, Italians, catholics, and especially Utahans in general. It's clear that was not his intent, as this is a "family film" but it is certainly how his movie comes across. Non- mormons are universally portrayed as little better than mannerless, valueless barbarians, fresh out of the cave. Perhaps worse, mormons are represented as a quaint folk, content in their (exaggerated) ignorance of the world at large. Personally I chalk it up to his dubious writing talent, and blatant lack of originality.

However for all its faults, "Mobsters and Mormons" is not a propaganda film. Let that sink in for a minute. Moyer certainly makes it known what makes a mormon, and even goes so far as working LDS belief structures into the dialogue. (SMALL SPOILER FOLLOWS) But to his credit he steers clear of actually converting our mobster Jersey family to "the Church" and in the end, our Jersey family learns to appreciate LDS values while remaining happily catholic. So while he has created a movie with little plot, vapid characters, tired clichés, forced humor, and insulting stereotypes he does not go overboard on trying to bring his audience into the fold, and does show that tolerance and understanding are possible even between an ex-shyster and a mormon bishop. Kudos on that point; unfortunately this movie is distributed (essentially) by the LDS Church, and they make sure to package propaganda for other "mormon friendly" movies with this DVD. I feel better simply giving Moyer the benefit of the doubt on this one, since he probably had little say in the distribution details. I digress....

I cannot recommend "Mobsters and Mormons" to anyone, even as family film filler. Besides setting the world's perception of Utah back several years, it just simply is not entertaining and that (ultimately) is what movies are about: entertainment. It offers absolutely nothing to the 10-and-under crowd, and teenagers would rather eat glass than watch a film this dull. Parents will be bored to tears with the inane story and poor humor. Not all is lost though; a relation of mine (78 years old) described it as, "a nice movie". Take that as you will.
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8/10
Home Run
filmfan197714 December 2005
Mobsters and Mormons. HaleStorm Entertainment.

Clearly for what this filmed for the makers hit a home run. The cast, especially lead mafioso Mark DeCarlo were spot on hysterical. An over all funny story - while not exactly original, is still fresh within the context of LDS cinema. And nobody ever said Hollywood was original either. But also with very funny individual scenes and some very sharp dialog make this film an entertaining experience. Some here have complained that the film is not edgy enough, but those people clearly have tastes that are outside the standards anyone LDS or with a family aspire to for their viewing habits. Kudos to the makers for making a very funny, smart, and entertaining film that didn't have to rely on gratuitous violence, profanity, or crude humor!!!!
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1/10
Oh, no, not another one!
RiffRaffMcKinley9 September 2007
Another dismally predictable LDS comedy. Yet this is still better than "The Singles Ward" or "The RM" because this one actually looks and feels different, while most Halestorm movies are identical in look and style.

It only took eighteen days to shoot this eye-rolling piece of junk. Quite frankly, the rushed production shows in the actors' moronic delivery, cheap attempts at improv, and the looks on their faces (one wonders, in fact, if the look on Carmine's face means get him out of Utah or get him out of the movie). This movie only preserves the idea that there could never be a good Mormon movie, because so far, there hasn't.

And the clichés-- shudder shudder! Not only does the LDS church take a fearful beating, but every dreadful mob-movie pattern is also used past death, making this film offensive to Mormons, non-Mormons, and Italian-Americans! This movie is hideous and should really be avoided at all costs.
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10/10
Mobsters And Mormons
DanaBHarper10 October 2005
I thought it was a great film... Check your gun in at the door. Where else can you find the Goomba's laughing out loud with the Mormon's ? HaleStorm and John Moyer have a winner with this one. If you enjoyed "The Singles Ward" or "The RM" Mark DeCarlo did a super job as BEANS seeing things through his eyes was a trip . This is a film the whole family can enjoy.

Its all about the FAMILY! You will truly have a good laugh with "Mobsters And Mormons" I think this is the only Mobster movie that has ever come out with a PG rating.

Now thats funny!!!!! Dis here movie could save yous from a cement canoe ride!

Go see the film.
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10/10
The mark of a good film...
movies-51030 December 2005
I think the mark of a good film is it's ability to create strong emotion one way or the other. Clearly this film does that. I think from several perspectives. First off, it's clear to see who the pro-LDS people and the anti-LDS people are, then there are the uptight LDS people and the not so uptight LDS people. This film sends a strong message about communities and people doing what's right by others. It's packaged brilliantly within a clever story line and bright comedy. This is an LDS film for everybody. And I think those who are upset by it are probably the ones who need to hear the message about judgmental Mormons the most!
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8/10
solid acting, a creative story line, and sharp comedy
pwrightken21 December 2005
Solid acting, a creative story line, and sharp comedy move this latest addition to the LDS film genre right along. Lead actor DeCarlo couldn't have done a better job as an obnoxious, yet fun to like mafia soldier. Hale Storm Entertainment has had mostly hits for members of the LDS faith, but this film soars passed their previous efforts and delivers a film that appeals to one and all and does not limit itself to members of the LDS church. That is what is so wonderful about this particular installment. The story is about the outside folks, looking in on a very peculiar community. It's a message about getting along and living together as neighborhood and community, not a dogma based preachy film.
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