The Catherine Tate Show (2004–2009)

Catherine Tate: Various Characters, Joannie Taylor

Photos 

Quotes 

• Martin : I never met anyone with an obsessive-compulsive disorder.

  Various Characters : That's because they're locked in a bathroom 14 hours a day, washing the shite off their hands.

• [repeated line] 

  "Nan" Taylor : What a fucking liberty!

• Various Characters : Are you a farmer miss? You a farmer miss? You old McDonald miss? You old McDonald, innit.

  Teacher : No, Lauren you know very well I am not a farmer, now enough of this.

  Various Characters : Well, I'm not being funny or nuffink, miss, but you do smell like a farmer.

• Various Characters : You ever see those women who leave their money to the cats. Oh, that DO make me laugh. What do the cats want with it? What are they gonna do? Go on a cruise? THEY'RE FUCKING CATS!

• Various Characters : [as homosexual in denial]  How dare you... how *very* dare you !

• Various Characters : Who dear? Me dear? Gay dear? No, dear!

• Various Characters : I'm sorry, where's my manners? Would you like a Rhubarb and Custard?

  Neville : Um... no, thank you.

  Various Characters : No, I'm not a great fan of boiled sweets myself. It's just good to have something to suck on between blanket checks. Know what I mean?

• Various Characters : Right, Lauren, that's it! You are not going on this trip you will sit there all afternoon!

  [a long pause as Lauren reflects on her actions] 

  Various Characters : Am I bovvaad?