The Honeymooners (1976 TV Special)

Jackie Gleason: Ralph Kramden

Quotes 

• Ralph Kramden : I mean a real bachelor party with a big cake and a big blonde jumping out of it.

  Ed Norton : Maybe I could get Mrs. Manicotti to jump out of a large pizza.

• Ralph Kramden : That kid when he grows up - he'll own all of this.

  Ed Norton : Lucky kid - not even born yet, and he's already got his own slum!

• Ralph Kramden : A mustache makes a guy distinctive. Gives a man a sort of an air. You ought to grow one.

  Ed Norton : Nah, I don't need one. When you work in the sewer, you already got an air about you.

• Ralph Kramden : I suppose that now my anniversary is getting near, you're racking your brain as to what to give me.

  Ed Norton : To tell you the truth, Ralph, I haven't given it much thought. That's not true. I haven't given it *any* thought.

• Ralph Kramden : Get a load of this little sweater. It looks like a teeny-weeny muumuu!

• Ralph Kramden : [Thinking that the knitted cover for a bowling ball is a baby's sweater]  Those are the two holes for the arms, and this is the hole for the head.

  Ed Norton : He may get his head and arms through there, but I don't think he's going to get them out again.

• Ralph Kramden : You were dancing all over the joint.

  Ed Norton : I cut up a pretty good rug.