User Reviews

I saw this movie, and I use that term VERY loosely, in one of my film classes. As an example of what NOT TO DO. LAND OF THE COLLEGE PROPHETS is bad. Really, REALLY BAD. And not a "fun bad", either. Painful, angry, why-are-you-making-me- watch-this-type of bad.

Where do I begin? It claims to be directed by about eight different people and it shows. It also shows that not a one of them ever went to school, either. Very simple, first day, Film School 101 rules are completely ignored and it shows off that the people doing the thing are nothing short of amateur and the whole thing really comes across as a public-access show.

It claims to have a script, but can't see how. The story, another term that I use very loosely, is all over the place and extremely ponderous. It tries like the dickens to tell the story of the world coming to an end on some Lucas-Spielberg-Jackson-type scale. Except no one told the rest of the town- traffic runs as normal, college students wander freely during the numerous badly choreographed fights between the (cough) heroes and assorted grade-z hell-spawn. Attention to any kind of believable detail is simply non-existent.

And I certainly don't want to hear about this thing had no budget. EVIL DEAD had no budget. DEAD ALIVE had no budget. HALLOWEEN had no budget. Need I continue? Having no money is simply no excuse for making something as purely DREADFUL as LAND OF THE COLLEGE PROPHETS. If even the slightest bit of care was given to this thing when it was in idea phase instead of the "hey, mommy, look at me! I'm making a movie!" phase, then maybe, just MAYBE, something even remotely watchable could have come out the "Hale Manor Collective"'s efforts. Instead, a bad idea was made even worse by being made.

Whatever you do, AVOID THIS MOVIE. Do not believe a single positive review about it (as they obviously are coming from the less-than-no-talent hacks that were involved with this turkey), because anyone with DNA will be not only bored to tears by this thing, but downright insulted.

I actually worked on this movie. Well, briefly. I worked as a grip for the classroom scenes. But only for a few days because I simply could not stomach the out-of-control egos of the Hale Manor Collective. I also have to point out something very shady going on here. A few days ago, someone posted an honest review of this movie that the Collective did not agree with. A quick side note, the reviewer hit the nail on the head in saying that the reviews came from the people involved with the movie. They are. When the DVD's listing first appeared on Amazon, an e-mail was sent out for everyone to post reviews. When the negative review was posted, another e-mail was sent out telling us to "bury it". The good reviews that are on this page, and on the Amazon listing, are not honest. They are all phony and posted by the various members of the Hale Manor Collective, even if they are claiming that they have nothing at all to do with the movie. And frankly, that really stinks and is really unprofessional. So guys, face the facts. You made a lousy movie and somebody called you on it. Grow up.

And I must add something else, while out for beers with these guys the other night, they boasted how they were getting the quote "nimrods at IMDb to take down all of the bad reviews of their movie". So watch this page closely. Glowing reviews written by the guys who worked on the movie will stay, honest reviews (aka "bad" reviews, or reviews that the Hale Manor Collective don't agree with) written by outside sources will disappear. They report the negative reviews by saying that there were spoilers or offensive language (in which there are neither), then laugh about it. These people are not only lousy film makers, but shady and underhanded on top of it all.

The movie begins with Tommy(Thomas Edward Seymour) carrying Rye(Philip Guerette)through Syne Hollow, an ancient forest and battle ground.The Voice of Tommy is heard describing events leading up to this moment and why they are considered 'College Prophets'.We meet the cast of characters in a blaze of comic book glory, introducing each character as if they were an Action figure. Jonah Joe( Russ Russo )is introduced heading up the bad guy unit of the film. Third Reich Jones(Champion Bodybuilder,Paul DeSimone)is also introduced as English being his second language.The film takes us through Robinson College where these broods study in the town of Pharisee,nice biblical reference, not to mention, the priest's cloak worn by the lead character Tommy throughout the entire film.We enter a world where an Evil wishing well called 'The Well that ate Children' exists almost a living,breathing force.It is awoken by the battle between Tommy and Rye over Tommy's girlfriend Bells(Tina Angelillo).The Well recruits its minions including Third Reich Jones, Billy and Million to rid the town of all that exists and feed the well its dead.A battle between the forces of man and nature.Sometimes all that man can do is.........fix its own mistakes...in the land of college prophets.

Look...I have seen the movie and I was pleasantly surprised! I heartily disagree with a previous negative comment regarding the film. The film makers have created an original and quite amusing piece of work. These adventures are what gritty, classic, cult favorites are made of. This is an amazing achievement for the film making trio. The Land of College Prophets is apparently their third feature length film, which is more than most twenty-something film makers can boast, and on a very tight budget I might add! It's unique flavor may not be to everyone's liking but you would be doing yourself a great disservice to not have a taste. :) A fun romp for moviegoers seeking action, adventure, mischief and mayhem...with a side of funny.

Champions of the netherworld, soothsayers, and wildebeests; lend me your ears! Hark the coming of the first of a new bastion of cult classics by the veritable Thomas Edward Seymour. Army of Darknesseque, this brutal display of emotion and anti-life is a morbid tale, yet full of hope and wonderment for all. True tests of metal and stunning makeup effects make this almost mentally intangible and profound epic a masterpiece worthy of bare-boned, independent film praise and glory. Remarkable are the character developments that en snarl the hopeful yet dastardly and conniving leads of this maker of men. A rather remarkable relic is the centerpiece that spawns the rather unholy mass of destruction following an unfortunate altercation between our heroes.

Tried and true are these heroes, and at times the period of this film becomes blurred by the strangeness of the times in which these characters find themselves. Brilliantly executed, the world doth seem as though it is besides itself in a beautiful display of chaos and hatred.

Share it with friends whilst gnawing on the bones of that which you have thwarted!

This film is what independent film-making is all about. It's directed by a group called The Hale Manor Collective, and they put together one heck of an imaginative movie. Thomas Edward Seymour is the jack-of-all-trades on this project as he not only helped direct it, but he also starred in it, composed the music for it and he even wrote the damn thing! There are people out there that are called College Prophets, people with amazing powers who don't even know they have them, until something happens that brings it out of them. That's the premise of this movie. When two buddies (Tommy and Rye) fight over the same girl, an ancient evil awakens from deep within an old well that legend calls The Well That Ate Children. The well starts to disperse it's tainted water through the town, turning everyone into bloodthirsty maniacs. Tommy and Rye must put aside their bitter feud and team up with some unlikely partners to banish the evil back to the well. A well written and directed film, College Prophets shows that original movies can still be made in this country, even if it's by a bunch of guys from Connecticut. The acting is surprisingly good also, you can tell that this was a labor of love for this group. A great B-Movie in every sense of the word--it has action, horror, laughs, karate-style fight sequences, compelling music, poetry and pink ninjas! It's a bare bones DVD with no extras, but who cares, this movie rocks!

This is not a chickflick.

I do not like forced humor (read: comedies). But I very much like dark humor. This was a combination of dark humor and very witty writing. Who cannot like a movie with lines like: life is not "all sunshine and handjobs"? Although it never rises above the production value of a "B" grade movie, perhaps even a "C", as is typical of true indies, it carries itself proudly with what it does have. Its energy and REFRESHING originality are worth a lot of points in today's movie making environment. I subtracted only two points from a "10", one for budget constraints and one for occasional grammar lapses, and both these faults are understandable under the circumstances.

If you do not laugh during this movie, Bones will scan you and announce, "He's dead, Jim."