- Leslie: Love is not negotiable.
- Christopher: Oh, baby, everything is negotiable!
- Leslie: Love is not negotiable. No, not love. Love is a guessing game. And that's the beauty of it, there's no guarantees. It's like diving into a pool of water without knowing if it's shallow or deep. Sure, right, if it's shallow you end up hurt and paralyzed from the neck down. But if it's deep... it's a leap of faith. It's like throwing yourself out there without any guarantees. And that's what life's about!
- [exhales forcefully]
- Leslie: Okay, you know those carnival games, right? And you know how some of them are really hard to win and some of them are super easy and everyone wins?
- Christopher: Sure.
- Leslie: Well, it's just that that's the difference between love and sex. Sex is the game where everyone wins a little prize and no one goes home a loser. And... love is the game that's really hard to win.
- [pause]
- Leslie: But if you do and you get to take home that life-sized stuffed rhinoceros, it feels a whole lot better than taking home that shitty little plastic key chain.
- Leslie: *God*, if only your dick was as big as your ego.
- Christopher: If it was, I wouldn't be able to walk around,
- [chuckles]
- Christopher: and neither would you for that matter.
- Alanna: Where are you from, Mexico or something?
- Marco: Uh... well, I'm spanish and uh... I'm from Madrid.
- Alanna: Is... what part of Mexico is that in?
- Marco: Oh no, it's... it's in Spain.
- Alanna: I know, but isn't that in Mexico?
- Marco: No, it's in Spain. It's a country? In Europe?
- Alanna: Oh! Okay, like, by England.
- Marco: Ye... ye... yeah, kind of. Yes.
- [long pause]
- Alanna: What, um... what language do they speak there?
- Marco: [surprised by her dumbness] Spanish.
- Alanna: I know, but isn't that what they speak in, um... in uh... Mexico?
- Marco: Yes, but the language... uh, the language originated in Spain.
- Alanna: Are you sure?
- Marco: [frustrated] Yes, I am uh... positive.
- Marco: First, you're a girl who's laying in bed next to me. And then you're an escort who's laying in bed next to me. *Now you're an escort who fuck-ed her uncle who she thought was her cousin is laying in bed next to me. This is too fuck-ed* for me.
- [first lines]
- Leslie: Oh, god, oh.
- Christopher: Ease, ease, easy, easy. Cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp. Fucking top five. That was... fucking top five.
- Leslie: So what are you saying? Are you saying women have it easier than men?
- Christopher: Look, all I'm saying is that you guys, women, have one certain luxury that us men just do not have.