I wasn't expecting comedy gold while watching this movie, I was more hoping for half-way decent; at least a few good laughs from our lovable Inspector and some great action from his clever niece and dog. I am sorry to report that this movie failed to deliver. It's bad enough the CGI makes the characters look like they've been slathered with Botox and had their souls ejected through their eyes, but the story is bad, too! In a nutshell, Dr. Claw broke out of prison and then set his sights on stealing a prehistoric dinosaur egg that has miraculously started hatching. Its up to Gadget and co. to save the day! Seems harmless enough, right? Let's look at what went wrong:
First off, Inspector Gadget himself. For a character like him, there needs to be a good balance. He needs to be incompetent, yet still likable. This movie had him be too self-serving and obnoxiously oblivious, making him an unfunny walking disaster for most of his screen time. If they had made Gadget even a little more self-aware of the danger he was in, for example, during the times he was chased by a monster that ate metal, it would have made the story more engaging and the audience more invested in Gadget's survival. (If he doesn't care, why should we?) It felt like he was progressively getting stupider as the movie shambled on; which made the boring story and slow pacing all the more aggravating. He doesn't try to even arrest Dr. Claw when the guy is right in front of him, for Pete's sake! Really movie; this is the confrontation you go with?
Other characters fared no better. Penny, I hate to say, was pretty bland here. When she was not donning the Captain Obvious hat, her major role in this movie involved just being there, existing. No computer book or watch for you, instead, you get a boring filler love interest character who contributes more to the plot than you do! Brain was at least given his normal role of keeping watch over Uncle Gadget, but he still wasn't as good as he was in the cartoon. Chief Quimby was alright, but he was given the mayor as an unfunny foil. Dr. Claw and his M.A.D. Agents were neither menacing nor entertaining to watch; which they should have been since they are in this movie a lot. (Gadgetmobile can talk, but he's barely in the movie, so no comment.)
Another huge problem with this movie is its sad attempts at a type of humor called the running gag. Gadget doesn't know which hand his phone is in! The mayor believes in aliens! The geeky scientist always gets interrupted before he can ask Penny out on a date! Look, Gadget's trying to arrest everybody again! M.A.D. Cat is shedding! Oh the hilarity! Please, repeat these jokes four or five times each, movie; I just can't get enough! Ha ha...
The story was boring and padded. The climax of the movie was torturous to watch. The pacing was so slow I think William Shatner could have read the entire dictionary aloud before something worthwhile happened. I wish I could say this movie was so bad, it's good; but no, there is only pain. I still can't believe they had Gadget recognize who Claw was and be five feet away from him, and there is no confrontation. No fight. Nothing. Not even a tiny attempt at an arrest. Bad movie, bad.
I like the Inspector Gadget franchise. I'm sure the reason why the original cartoon was funny and endearing was because the people who made it actually cared. Hopefully future adaptations or remakes will care about our bumbling bionic detective and family as much as the fans do, so no movies with messages this self-destructive get released again.
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