- Karen: Get over it, and get on with your damn life! Be happy with your real job, and show me some attention, for a change!
- Shannon: I'll seek enlightenment and forgiveness after I've indulged in all the debauchery my body can handle. I'll be like the rest of those holy rollers, and find God when there's nothing else to live for.
- Angie: Well, you're a warm ray of sunshine this fine morning, aren't you? Pass me the razor, I think I'll slit my wrists now.
- Karen: You get like this every time you start a new project, and you always end up treating me like shit until it's done.
- Karen: Start living for what you already have today, not for what you might have tomorrow. You'd be surprised how happy that would make you.
- Angie: I mean, I love him more than anything, and it would kill me to do it. But he needs to realize it'll take more than great sex to make our relationship work, you know?
- Stu: Um... I need to buy a plant... for my father. He's in the hospital. He... just had a hemorrhoid operation. He likes plants... Potted ones, especially.
- Angie: It wasn't enough that everything always had to be your way... Now you're a liar and a stubborn asshole?
- Donald: My problem is having to reveal to the world what fucking equipment I use to make my movies! It wouldn't bother me if people weren't so damn judgmental about it!
- Donald: Do I need to be like all the other no-budget directors, too, and cast Debbie Rochon just to get my movies noticed? Well, I'm sorry, but I happen to not like Debbie Rochon! So if that means my work is destined to remain either unwatched or criticized... so fuckin' be it.
- Angie: I want to be able to laugh again without worrying about something making me miserable, ten minutes later!
- Angie: Just because I'm not up on my 70's porno movies, it doesn't mean I've been trapped under any rock!