Blake's 7 (TV Series)

Ultraworld (1980)

Michael Keating: Vila Restal

Quotes 

• Orac : The idiosyncratic syntax of riddles interests me. They seem to depend for their effect on solecisms and grammatical discrepancies.

  Vila Restal : [totally confused]  Eh?

  Orac : Do you have another riddle for me to analyze?

  Vila Restal : You'd only spoil it.

  Orac : I thought you liked riddles.

  Vila Restal : I do when I'm allowed to tell them properly. All you're interested in is the idiotic tin tax or something.

  Orac : That's very clever.

  Vila Restal : What is?

  Orac : For "idiosyncratic syntax" you substituted "idiotic tin tax". Yes, very good.

  Vila Restal : [brightening]  Is it?

  Orac : Another one, please.

  Vila Restal : Right. What's the best cure for water on the brain?

  Orac : I don't know. What is the best cure for water on the brain?

  Vila Restal : A tap on the head.

  Orac : "A tap on the head." Yes, I see. In this instance the word "tap" has a double meaning, as in to strike something and as a device for controlling the release of fluid from a tank or pipe. The fluid referred to is water, therefore, "tap on the head" has two ambivalent meanings, one pertaining to the striking of the cranium...

  [Vila grabs his head in frustration] 

• [Vila is teaching Orac riddles] 

  Vila : No, Orac, you don't understand. I say "Where to space pilots leave their ships?" and you say, "I don't know, where do space pilots leave their ships?"

  Orac : And supposing I don't wish to know that?

  Vila : But you've got to say it or the riddle won't work.

  Orac : It is plainly nonsensical.

  Vila : Of course. That's the whole idea.

  Orac : I fail to see why I take part in a meaningless, illogical conversation. It doesn't make sense and is therefore a waste of time. I'm shutting down.

  Vila : Do it for me this once, Orac, please. Ready? Where do space pilots leave their ships?

  Orac : I don't know. Where do space pilots leave their ships?

  Vila : At parking meteors.

  [Vila laughs. Orac shuts off indignantly] 

• Vila : Knock, knock.

  Orac : Who's there?

  Vila : Atch.

  Orac : Atch who?

  Vila : Sorry, I didn't know you had a cold.

  Orac : A cold what?

  Vila : No, not a cold what. Just a cold. You know, cold, chill.

  Orac : I am not subject to colds and chills. Some trace deposits on my anodizers perhaps, but I am quite capable of dealing with that myself.

  Vila : [giving up]  Forget it. Go back to sleep.

  Orac : Is this another riddle?

  Vila : No.

• Orac : The idiosyncratic syntax of riddles interests me. They seem to depend for their effect on solecisms and grammatical discrepancies.

  Vila : [totally confused]  Eh?

  Orac : Do you have another riddle for me to analyze?

  Vila : You'd only spoil it.

  Orac : I thought you liked riddles.

  Vila : I do when I'm allowed to tell them properly. All you're interested in is the idiotic tintax or something.

  Orac : That's very clever.

  Vila : What is?

  Orac : For idiosyncratic syntax you substituted idiotic tintax. Yes, very good.

  Vila : [brightening]  Is it?

  Orac : Another one, please.

  Vila : Right. What's the best cure for water on the brain?

  Orac : I don't know. What is the best cure for water on the brain?

  Vila : A tap on the head.

  Orac : A tap on the head. Yes, I see. In this instance the word tap has a double meaning, as in to strike something and as a device for controlling the release of fluid from a tank or pipe. The fluid referred to is water, therefore, tap on the head has two ambivalent meanings, one pertaining to the striking of the cranium...

  [Vila grabs his head in frustration]