3rd Rock from the Sun (TV Series)
Brains and Eggs (1996)
John Lithgow: Dr. Dick Solomon
Photos
Quotes
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Dr. Mary Albright : For future reference: I have a red Volvo.
Dr. Dick Solomon : Please, Dr. Albright, we barely know each other.
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Dr. Dick Solomon : Sally, I want you to observe her. Find out what women on this planet do.
Sally Solomon : Well, why can't Harry do it?
Dr. Dick Solomon : Because you're the woman.
Sally Solomon : That brings up a very good question: why am I the woman?
Dr. Dick Solomon : Because you lost.
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Dr. Dick Solomon : Leon, of course it's wrong! The odds against you're being right are... staggering! You have a great advantage, you know the outcome. You will be wrong. Don't fear it, embrace your wrongness!
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Nina Campbell : Is your wife out of town?
Dr. Dick Solomon : Uh... Mrs. Solomon is no longer with us. She, uh... burned up on re-entry.
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Dr. Dick Solomon : [seeing a couple kissing] Look, life forms. And they're cleaning each other.
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Dr. Dick Solomon : Nina, you smell great!
Nina Campbell : Thanks, I try...
[Dick buries his face in Nina's rear end]
Nina Campbell : That had better be your nose!
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Dr. Dick Solomon : [Harry is holding a flashlight with the bulb end facing inwards] You know, I have an urge to hold that.
Harry Solomon : Well, that's exactly what it's for.
Dr. Dick Solomon : May I?
Harry Solomon : Please.
Dr. Dick Solomon : [takes the flashlight and holds it the same way] You know I rather like this.
Harry Solomon : Yes.
Dr. Dick Solomon : I find this very satisfying.
Harry Solomon : I know.
Dr. Dick Solomon : [after a pause] I wonder what Dr Albright is doing right now?
Harry Solomon : OK, that's enough.
[takes back flashlight]
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Dr. Dick Solomon : [after seeing Mary putting on lipstick] Excuse me, I have the sudden urge to clean you.
[kisses her passionately]
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Mrs. Sumner : May I take your coat?
Dr. Dick Solomon : If I can keep my pants.
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Tommy Solomon : Why are you talking to me like I'm a child?
Dr. Dick Solomon : You are a child.
Tommy Solomon : I'm older than you.
Dr. Dick Solomon : Well, now I'm bigger. And on this planet, size matters.
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Dr. Mary Albright : This is a small office and you are behaving like a big hose-monkey.
Dr. Dick Solomon : You're not so bad yourself, woman.
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Dr. Mary Albright : You have an impressive résumé.
Dr. Dick Solomon : I *am* the high commander.
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Dr. Dick Solomon : How far away is Cleveland?...
Bug : A felony. The federal courthouse is there.
Dr. Dick Solomon : Yes! Cleveland is a felonious assault away.
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Dr. Dick Solomon : Our home for this mission is Earth, a third-rate planet. I got a teaching job at a third-rate university. Now we're looking for a third-floor apartment.
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Dr. Dick Solomon : Is Dr. Albright in?
Nina Campbell : No, she left early. But she'll be at Dean Sumner's party tonight.
Dr. Dick Solomon : Oh, then I'll see her there.
[Pondering]
Dr. Dick Solomon : How will I get there...?
Nina Campbell : I can pick you up.
Dr. Dick Solomon : Won't that hurt your back?
Nina Campbell : [Taken slightly aback] I'll be in a car!
Dr. Dick Solomon : Oh, honk your horn when you come by - I love it when people honk!
Nina Campbell : What are, from Mars?
Dr. Dick Solomon : [Scoffing] Mars? Oh, no!
[chortling]
Dr. Dick Solomon : Maaars!