- Dr. Dick Solomon: This is your field, you tell me. Out of all the possible ethnic groups, which one is the best?
- Dr. Mary Albright: Oh, no, there's no best. It's - it's all subjective.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Well, which do you find the most interesting.
- Dr. Mary Albright: Oh, there are so many. Ummm, I love the creative ambition of the Maori people, ahhh, the Polynesian culture with its joyous embrace of nature, ahhh, the quiet dignity of...
- Dr. Dick Solomon: [interrupting] What's the sexiest?
- Dr. Mary Albright: [without thinking] Italians... . Smoky, swarthy, gotta have 'em.
- [Dick realizes that his 'family' hasn't established their ethnicity, and doesn't know what they should be; Tommy tries out various identities at school without much success, until Mrs Dubcek assumes that, with a name like Solomon, they must be Jewish]
- Tommy Solomon: This rules! I'm still a minority. Y'know, chicks dig minorities.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Who knew that Solomon was a Jewish name when we took it off the side of that truck.
- Harry Solomon: Go figure! Heh, we could've been the Wal-Marts.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: [beginning to weep with joy] We're Jewish. I don't know what to say.
- Harry Solomon: Mazel tov!