3rd Rock from the Sun (TV Series)
Post-Nasal Dick (1996)
John Lithgow: Dr. Dick Solomon
Quotes
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Dr. Dick Solomon : [reading "A Tale of Two Cities"] "It was the best of times. It was the worst of times."
[flips to the back of the book and promptly drops it]
Dr. Dick Solomon : I'm not reading three-hundred and eighty-seven pages if he can't make up his mind in the first sentence!
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[after experiencing her first sneeze]
Sally Solomon : Wow!
Dr. Dick Solomon : What was that?
Sally Solomon : I don't know, but I want another one.
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Dr. Dick Solomon : So, how was school today?
Tommy Solomon : The best ever. I had my very first make-out session.
Dr. Dick Solomon : Good for you.
Tommy Solomon : It was with Dina, my lab partner.
Sally Solomon : Dina, the one with the...?
Tommy Solomon : [slyly] Oooh, yeah.
Dr. Dick Solomon : Tell us everything. I want details.
Tommy Solomon : At first, I was conflicted. We come from very different backgrounds. I'm an alien and she's a Presbyterian. I have a highly developed mind and she's got that... big, pouty mouth. I tell you, Dick, it was a tough decision.
Sally Solomon : What tipped the scales?
Tommy Solomon : She let me.
Dr. Dick Solomon : What happened next?
Tommy Solomon : Well, I don't know what came over me, but... they were so big and round and beautiful... I just had to touch them.
Dr. Dick Solomon : And then what?
Tommy Solomon : She screamed, "Ow, my eyes!" and that just basically killed the mood.
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Dr. Dick Solomon : I have to tell you this... I come from a different world.
Dr. Mary Albright : And this is news?
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[Dick is clutching a toaster at the wedding]
Dr. Mary Albright : Where did you get that?
Dr. Dick Solomon : It was in the room full of prizes.
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Priest at the wedding : We are gathered here, before God...
Dr. Dick Solomon : Now, which one of those guys is God?
Dr. Mary Albright : Will you be quiet?
Dr. Dick Solomon : Okay, but be sure to introduce me later because I want some answers.
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Dr. Dick Solomon : Nina, are you married?
Nina Campbell : No.
Dr. Dick Solomon : Well, why not? What are you doing wrong?
Nina Campbell : You sound just like my mother.
Dr. Dick Solomon : That must be very confusing for you.
-
[explaining a wedding]
Dr. Dick Solomon : The ceremony begins with the bride being given away.
Sally Solomon : Excuse me? Given away? Like an object? As in 'free girl with every large fries'?
Tommy Solomon : Hey, there are free girls? Can I go?
Harry Solomon : Fries? Can I go?