- Harry Solomon: [concluding transmission] And remember, when you're thinking of giant heads, think of The Big Giant Head.
- Evil Dick: The bathroom has been stocked with two kinds of toilet paper. I, and I alone, get the quilted kind.
- Evil Dick: [to Harry] You will find things to be quite different under my command, Tommy.
- Harry Solomon: Uh, no, I'm Harry.
- Evil Dick: No. I've decided that from now on you'll be known as 'Tommy'.
- Tommy Solomon: Oh, oh, what about me?
- Evil Dick: You will be known as 'Tommy' too.
- Tommy Solomon: Ah, wait, wait - 'Tommy' and then the number 2, or 'Tommy as well'?
- Evil Dick: [impatient and loud] You will all be known as 'Tommy'.
- Mrs. Dubcek: [Insinuatingly] Dr. Solomon, why don't you come over here and give me a hand with my lint trap.
- Tommy Solomon: This guy's such a hard-ass!
- Sally Solomon: May I remind you that that HARD-ASS is our High Commander!
- Tommy Solomon: You're the Weapons Expert - isn't there a way to get rid of him?
- Sally Solomon: He's the High Commander; we can't just frag him with a grenade while he's taking a shower!
- Tommy Solomon: Yeah, but showers explode all the time!
- Sally Solomon: [shouting] I didn't hear that!
- Harry Solomon: He said showers expl...
- Sally Solomon: SHUT UP!
- Nina: Are you trying to show off to her?
- Evil Dick: [On his way out] I don't have to show off
- [smirking]
- Evil Dick: , I just have to show up.
- [Exits]
- Dr. Mary Albright: Isn't he naughty!