- [Harry is going through the newspaper looking for a job]
- Harry Solomon: Oooh, look at this. Here's a job I can do: "Police seek third gunman." Well, tomorrow I'm gonna march right down to the police station and tell them I'm the man they're looking for.
- Sally Solomon: Hey, Dick, why is it that you see nude people in museums but they never show them on TV?
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Sure they do! But never in comedies, only in dramas and even then, only when the ratings sag.
- Sally Solomon: These troops need a leader, not some chirpy, weak-chinned, underachieving drone. No offense.
- Tommy Solomon: I kind of signed you up for a bake sale.
- Sally Solomon: What's a bake sale?
- Tommy Solomon: Oh, it's just an attempt to revive a failing educational system through parental involvement.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Tommy, do you ever doodle?
- Tommy Solomon: [a look of extreme guilt on his face] Why, was I in the bathroom too long?
- Dr. Dick Solomon: [exasperated] I can't doodle!
- Tommy Solomon: Well, Dick, you're kind of old.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Old? Picasso doodled on tablecloths late into his 60s.
- Tommy Solomon: That's disgusting!
- Dr. Dick Solomon: I know. I just can't draw.
- Tommy Solomon: Oh, *doodling*.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: I've discovered that here on earth, every human has his own talents and his own flaws. The smart ones have learned to use their talents, but the happy ones have learned to accept their flaws. I know I've accepted mine.
- Tommy Solomon: Permission to mention your receding hairline, sir.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Permission denied.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: [Dick has just unleashed sarcasm on Harry because of his artistic skill] Why did I say that? What's wrong with me?
- Tommy Solomon: Could it be - and this is just a wild guess - that Harry is way better at something than you?
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Oh, give me some credit. I'm the High Commander. I don't engage in petty rivalry.
- Tommy Solomon: A-heh, look, Dick, you're actually younger than me, right?
- Dr. Dick Solomon: Right.
- Tommy Solomon: But on this mission, you got to be taller. Now, don't you think that eats my lunch just a little bit? You don't see me whining.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: So how can you be so cool about it?
- Tommy Solomon: 'Cause I'm older than you, little buddy!
- Harry Solomon: Well, here's my latest painting. It's a still-life.
- Dr. Dick Solomon: That's very interesting, Harry.
- Sally Solomon: And very dark.
- Tommy Solomon: It's a bunch of rotten fruit.
- Harry Solomon: Yeah, I've really got to learn to paint faster.