The A-Team (TV Series)
Sheriffs of Rivertown (1984)
Dirk Benedict: Templeton 'Faceman' Peck
Quotes
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[the A-Team and others are trapped in a cave]
"Hannibal" Smith : Well, what's the story?
Face : Did you ever hear of King Tut?
Murdock : We ain't never gonna get out of here, Colonel.
"B.A." Baracus : Hey man, the first time ever we have guns and ammo, and can't get out of here.
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[final scene: B.A. is driving Murdock, Hannibal and Face into a cell, menacingly waiving a nightstick at them, as a retribution for flying him to Rivertown]
Face : Now wait a minute, wait a minute, remember your oath as a deputy not to hurt other deputies?
"B.A." Baracus : [pointing to the table] I see three badges on the table. That mean you are civilians. I still got my badge. And as official law officer of Rivertown, I'm giving you guys two days in jail.
[B.A. locks the cell, takes the key from the lock and hits the bars with the nightstick, making Face and Murdock recoil]
"B.A." Baracus : I love it... when a plan comes together!
[B.A. smiles triumphantly]
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[after they finished beating up the whole gang, B.A., Faceman and Murdock stand in the middle of the bar, draw their guns and shoot towards the ceiling]
"B.A." Baracus : Freeze! Peace officers!
Face : Nicely phrased.
-
[the A-Team sits at picnic table. Hannibal gives the others hamburgers and chips, and explains their mission]
"Hannibal" Smith : We're on our way to San Marcos. We are the new sheriffs of Rivertown.
Murdock : [excitedly] Wow! Sheriffs! I always wanted to get into law enforcement. I saw every TV Western and never missed a rerun of 'the Rifleman'.
"Hannibal" Smith : I hope not, Murdock, because it's a tough place.
"B.A." Baracus : Hey Hannibal, what ever happened to the other sheriffs they sent to Rivertown?
"Hannibal" Smith : Disappeared, without a trace, as they say.
Face : [snickers] And you said 'Sounds like a challenge'.
"Hannibal" Smith : Face, a lot of people are gonna benefit from this. And they agreed to pay our fee. They even offered to let us take their new executive jet for the trip.
[Hearing the word 'jet', B.A. raises his head suspiciously]
Murdock : Oh, boy! l hope it's one of those new Lear jobs with the high performance engine. The thing is capable of near vertical climb, 3,000 feet per minute.
"B.A." Baracus : Hey Hannibal, you know I don't flying! And I've seen that trick before: you give me a burger and expect me to eat it!
"Hannibal" Smith : [sighs] B.A., you know you get cranky on an empty stomach. Now, eat your burger.
"B.A." Baracus : Not this time! I ain't falling for no sleeping powder in my burger. I'm taking yours!
[B.A. switches his burger with Hannibal's]
"Hannibal" Smith : Help yourself... just fine.
"B.A." Baracus : You figured I would think my burger was spiked and take yours! I'm taking Face's.
[B.A. takes Face's burger and gives him Hannibal's]
Face : OK.
[Face chuckles. Hearing this, B.A. gets suspicious again]
"B.A." Baracus : Wait a minute... I've got it! You figured I'd take your burger, get wise to it, then take Face's burger! And Face's burger is the one that got the sleeping powder in it... or Murdock's!
[Murdock looks at his hamburger, then offers it to B.A]
"B.A." Baracus : Hey, wait a minute, I'm on to you guys... the one place you would never put sleeping powder, and that's in the first burger you gave me!
[B.A. takes back his original hamburger from Hannibal, gives him Face's, then takes large bite from his hamburger. Nothing happens. Hannibal, blank expression on his face, gives B.A. small carton of milk. B.A., in the euphoria of his 'victory', drinks the milk without suspicion]
"B.A." Baracus : That's what I know!
[B.A. chuckles, but falls to sleep. Murdock grabs B.A.'s hambuger as he falls down, putting it in the bag]
Face : And he was doing so well...
-
[the A-Team is at the sheriff's office in Rivertown. Hannibal, Face and Murdock are wearing sheriff's uniform. B.A., still under the sleeping powder effect, is in one of the jail cells]
"Hannibal" Smith : [locks the cell where B.A. is] He should be waking up any time now.
Murdock : Well, I sure hope these bars are strong, because he is gonna be mad. Not to mention the fact that he'll never eat lunch with us again.
"Hannibal" Smith : I don't know, Murdock. He has a very forgiving heart.
Face : [leans his feet on the desk] You know, it's gonna be nice, to be on the right side of the law for a change.
"Hannibal" Smith : [smiles] You like that, ah, Face?
Murdock : [waving his pistols] Pow-Pow-Pow... I call these babies 'Betsy' and 'Bertha'. As B.A. might say: I pity the poor man who crosses my path, because I am ready, willing and able to take on any bad guy who wants a taste of 'Fast-Draw' Murdock.
[Hannibal gives Murdock a thumbs up. Suddenly B.A. wakes up, as the sleeping powder wears off, and starts screaming]
"B.A." Baracus : [stands, examining his sorroundings] What is this?
Murdock : 'What is this?' Well, after giving it a lot of thought and summing the situation real quick, this is one very mad B.A., holding on the bars of a jail cell... from the inside.
"B.A." Baracus : Hannibal, let me out of here! You tricked me. You put me to sleep again!
Murdock : [takes a metal cup] What you've got to do B.A., I've seen it in all the gangster pictures, is...
[Murdock rakes the cup across the cell bars, making terrible noise]
Murdock : ...and call up the warden's name.
"B.A." Baracus : [covers his ears] Hannibal!
[Hannibal gestures to Murdock to stop. Murdock complies]
"Hannibal" Smith : B.A., I have to swear you in as an official deputy of Rivertown. You have to take the oath.
"B.A." Baracus : [sullenly] If I take it, will you let me out?
"Hannibal" Smith : Word of honor. Face, swears him in.
Face : [gets up, gets the bible and approaches the cell] Put your hand on the bible. Raise your right hand.
[B.A. puts his left hand on the bible, raises his right hand but crosses his fingers]
Face : [scolding] B.A., this is the bible!
[reluctantly, B.A. uncrosses his fingers]
Face : [reciting the oath] 'I, B.A. Baracus, will do all the laws of Rivertown. I will conduct myself as an honorable peace officer and obey at all time, all the rules of deputyship'. Do you so swear?
"B.A." Baracus : [grudgingly] I swear!
Face : [gives B.A. deputy badge] There you go. Done!
"Hannibal" Smith : [unlocks the cell] Thanks, Face. OK, B.A., you're a free man.
"B.A." Baracus : Now I'll tear you guys apart...
"Hannibal" Smith : But one of the rules is that a peace officer may not bring a harm to any other peace officer.
"B.A." Baracus : What?
"Hannibal" Smith : Yes, and you swore to it. And we're all wearing badges.
"B.A." Baracus : [a bit calmer] This ain't fair!
Murdock : [points at his badge] See? It's all nice and shiny.
"Hannibal" Smith : [cocks his shotgun] Alright, let's get down to business. Let's go clean up this town.
-
Face : You want me to pick up who?
"Hannibal" Smith : Lupus. He works for Boyle. We saw him yesterday.
Face : Oh yeah, that's the big one, about 6' 4", built like a chest of drawers?
Murdock : Yeah, that's the guy. Now you be careful, he almost killed B.A. He's at least 6' 5", 240 pounds!
"Hannibal" Smith : Now, I'll check out his office. You check out his house. If that guy Lupus shows, bag him.
Face : Wait... the guy is 6' 6", 250 pounds, he almost killed B.A., and you want ME to bag him?
"Hannibal" Smith : Sure!
Face : [checks his pistol] Right... well, you don't care how I go about it, do you, colonel?
"Hannibal" Smith : No... use alacrity, and you can call me 'Sheriff'.
