- ALF: I'll have you know my health club on Melmac once voted me "bod of the month."
- Lynn Tanner: You went to a health club?
- ALF: Well, here you call it a bakery.
- Larry: Yeah, you know what they say.. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
- Kate Tanner: In ALF's hands, foam rubber is a dangerous thing.
- Kate Tanner: [reading in bed] Huh! It says in this article that babies sometimes remember things that happened when they were still in the womb.
- Willie Tanner: Really?
- Kate Tanner: [fondly] Yeah. I wonder if Eric will remember how things were around here before he was born.
- ALF: [enters bedroom, blaring] Carl Jung was a big weenie head.
- Willie Tanner: With any luck, he'll forget his first five years entirely.
- Larry: Trust me. I'm a professional.
- Kate Tanner: The last time someone said that to me I ended up with purple hair.