Action (TV Series)

Love Sucks (2000)

Jay Mohr: Peter Dragon

Photos 

Quotes 

• Peter Dragon : I started out the way I always start a film: having sex with a whore.

• Peter Dragon : And I just wanna tell you that if it does turn out like Slow Torture, I'm cutting you loose. You'll spend the rest of your life in Vancouver making Meatballs sequels with John Landis. I hope you like Jim Belushi and David Spade, cause you're gonna be seeing a lot of them.

  Peter Dragon : Wow, somebody woke up on the wrong side of JM J. Bullock this morning.

  Robert 'Bobby G.' Gianopolis : I like JM J. Bullock.

• Blood & Piss Guy : He's gonna get the best blood money can buy: Amish.

  Peter Dragon : How do you get Amish blood?

  Blood & Piss Guy : Traps.

• Peter Dragon : I lost track of time. You know how I get when I'm shopping for urine.

• Peter Dragon : It's really weird: usually I have a girlfriend and I make pretend she's a whore, but with you it's completely the opposite: I have a whore and I make pretend she's you're my girlfriend.

  Wendy Ward : Wow, look what's passing for a compliment these days.

• Peter Dragon : Hi Mr. Van Dorn, you ready to knock Keanu off the top of the hill?

  Holden Van Dorn : Yes. Yes I am, ready as a hoot-owl.

  Peter Dragon : Are you sober? Any magic powder floating around in there?

  Holden Van Dorn : No, no, I am sober as an ox.

  Peter Dragon : Sober as an ox?

  [smiles] 

  Peter Dragon : You went to school in the studios, didn't you?

  Holden Van Dorn : Yeah, since, eh sixth grade.

  Peter Dragon : Yeah, I can tell, you're smart as a duck.

• Peter Dragon : [Stuart is hiding from Peter in a bathroom stall]  Stuart, get out of the stall, Stuart, I know you're in there!

  Stuart Glazer : No... You'll hurt me.

  Peter Dragon : Yes, I will hurt you. But you know what, If I hurt you, then at least one of us will feel better.

  Stuart Glazer : She still has a very pretty face.

  Peter Dragon : Oh she has a face? I didn't notice 'cause unfortunately it's on top of the body of Brian Dennehy!

• Dr. Wong : [picks up phone]  Yeah?

  Peter Dragon : [on tiny cellphone]  She'll be there in an hour.

  Dr. Wong : You want 35, 45 off?

  Peter Dragon : 50 pounds. And nothing from the breasts.

  Dr. Wong : It hurt like hell.

  Peter Dragon : I don't care.

  [both hang up] 

• David Leisure : Off the record, Peter, what would you do if this one tanks too, like Slow Torture did?

  Peter Dragon : I'd kill myself. Or do TV, I don't know which one's worse.

  David Leisure : What would you do on TV?

  Peter Dragon : I would do a show about eh, hell, I'd do a TV show about me. That'd be interesting, huh? A TV show about a Hollywood producer, morally corrupt, nobody likes him. I, I, I'd have cursing, sexual content, I'd have guest stars running in and out, I'd be a big hit. All you'd have to do is find the right time slot.

• Peter Dragon : You had a boyfriend when you were 13? That's adorable. What was his name?

  Wendy Ward : Roman.

  Peter Dragon : Roman?

  Wendy Ward : Yeah. Let's just say I spent a lot of time on the set of 'Chinatown.'