The Addams Family (TV Series)

Fester Goes on a Diet (1966)

Carolyn Jones: Morticia Addams

Photos 

Quotes 

• Morticia Addams : [watching Fester exercise to Jack LaLanne on TV]  What's he doing?

  Gomez Addams : He's either dancing to the late late show or exercising to the early early show.

• Gomez Addams : Fester's up to something.

  Morticia Addams : Darling, have you ever known Uncle Fester to be sneaky and underhanded?

  Gomez Addams : Only when he was up to something shady.

• Gomez Addams : Lurch, we know we can count on you. What's troubling Fester?

  [Lurch stands motionless and expressionless] 

  Morticia Addams : I think he's trying to tell us something.

  Gomez Addams : Is he in trouble?

  [Lurch remains motionless and expressionless] 

  Gomez Addams : [to Morticia]  He's beginning to weaken.

  Gomez Addams : [back to Lurch]  Is it a money matter?

  Morticia Addams : An emotional disturbance?

  Gomez Addams : A health problem?

  [Lurch remains motionless and expressionless] 

  Gomez Addams : We're getting warm - a health problem.

  Morticia Addams : Darling, you're right. Uncle Fester's ill.

  Gomez Addams : Of course, that's it! It's written all over his face. We just had to keep probing.

• Uncle Fester : You know, Morticia, when she sees me, a great postal romance is goin' right down the drain.

  Morticia Addams : Brace up, Uncle Fester. She'll love you for what you are.

  Gomez Addams : [indicating his bloated, flabby tummy]  All of it.

• Morticia Addams : Hello, Houston. This is Morticia Addams, and I'd like to speak to the head of your astronaut program. He's asleep? Well, wake him, wake him. This is a citizen calling.

• Morticia Addams : What an interesting couple.

  Gomez Addams : They're almost an interesting quartet.