The Addams Family (TV Series)
Morticia's Romance: Part 2 (1965)
Jackie Coogan: Uncle Fester
Photos
Quotes
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Morticia Frump : Uncle Fester, Gomez and I are madly in love.
Uncle Fester : Oh, then, why don't you two get hitched?
Morticia Frump : Ophelia's my sister. I couldn't betray her. Besides, it would break her heart.
Uncle Fester : [understandingly] It's bad for the digestion.
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Uncle Fester Frump : Who's the little guy talking to the servant?
Gomez Addams : That's my Cousin Itt. He's the family intellectual - the long-hair of the family!
Uncle Fester Frump : He looks it. Is he married?
Gomez Addams : Free as a tumbleweed!
Uncle Fester Frump : He looks that, too. He'd be a perfect groom for Ophelia. He'd never see what he's gettin' into.
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[Ophelia is not bothered by not marrying Gomez]
Ophelia Frump : Besides, I think I've already found my true love, my d'Artagnan, my Don Quixote, my knight in shining armor.
Uncle Fester Frump : Sounds like me - but I'm her uncle.
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[Uncle Fester searches for Gomez with shotgun in hand]
Morticia Frump : Uncle Fester, I thought you were our friend.
Uncle Fester : Oh, I am, but we can't have a jilted Frump. It'd be a stain on our family escutcheon - and our family escutcheon is messy enough.
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Gomez Addams : [rehearsing with Fester] Ophelia, I won't marry you.
Uncle Fester Frump : [as Ophelia] What!
Morticia Frump : Uncle Fester!
Uncle Fester Frump : [grabbing his gun] I'll shoot 'im in the back!
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[Another attempt is made to rehearse Gomez turning down Ophelia, this time with Morticia as Ophelia and Uncle Fester as Granny Frump]
Gomez Addams : Ophelia, I'd...
Uncle Fester : All right, son. Speak up! Speak up!
Gomez Addams : Mrs. Frump, I'm afraid I can't marry your daughter.
Uncle Fester : What! I'll shoot 'im...!
Morticia Frump : Uncle Fester...
Morticia Frump : [correcting herself] Mother, please!
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Minister : Do you really want to marry this man?
Morticia Frump : I certainly do.
Uncle Fester : But you've only known him a few days.
Morticia Frump : What better way to get acquainted?
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Ophelia Frump : Uncle Fester! How sweet of you to come to my wedding.
Uncle Fester : Biggest mistake since Uncle Tick married Aunt Phobia.
Ophelia Frump : But they were a perfect match.
Uncle Fester : [scoffs] Heh! He had two left feet and she had two right ones. It was a mere physical attraction.
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Uncle Fester Frump : Well, wouldn't you rather be a strong, masterful he-man?
Gomez Addams : Too dangerous!
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[Morticia suggests Gomez practice turning down Ophelia]
Morticia Frump : Uncle Fester, you be Ophelia. You're kind, sensitive, quiet and understanding.
Uncle Fester : She certainly has changed.
Morticia Frump : And you're the new Gomez. You're decisive, direct and definite.
Gomez Addams : I'm afraid!
Uncle Fester : That's pretty definite.
Gomez Addams : Thank you.