- Whip Morgan: You think we can break out?
- Peter Hutter: Whip, you happen to be in the company of a connoisseur of penal lodging.
- Whip Morgan: Hey! I ain't into that.
- Peter Hutter: I was talking about the jailhouse design.
- Pete Hutter: May I remind you that I have been a wanted fugitive most of my adult life. Ergo, when fleeing, I suggest you follow the flight of the flea who knows how to flee the fastest. And that would be me.
- Socrates Poole: [Climbing down a ladder] Brisco!
- Brisco County Jr.: Socrates what are you doing here?
- Prof. Albert Wickwire: I thought you could use the help, And I needed someone to pass gas for me.
- Lord Bowler: Uh ain't that something you supposed to do by yourself?
- Prof. Albert Wickwire: Impossible, the cabins too large.
- Brisco County Jr.: Uh, we heard you were alive, Pete.
- Lord Bowler: We just didn't believe it. We saw you get killed by that Chinese death star with our own eyes.
- Pete Hutter: Well, that's the thing about your Chinese death stars. An hour later you're alive again.