[introduction]
Alfred Hitchcock: [Hitchcock is standing at rest with a sword in front of a sword rack with a very large covered wicker basket next to him. He salutes with the sword] Good evening.
[tucks his sword under his arm, claps his hands twice and lifts up the basket cover. A page boy walks in and climbs into the basket. Hitchcock closes the top, looks at the audience, and thrusts his sword into the basket like a magician. He takes three more swords from the rack, one at a time, and with a flourish, thrusts them one by one into the basket. He stops, and claps his hands twice. When the page boy doesn't emerge, he looks at the audience, then claps his hands twice again before lifting the cover. He peers into the basket and then closes the cover again in shock]
Alfred Hitchcock: Good heavens. He looks like a toothpick holder on an hors d'oeuvre table.
[shrugs his shoulders]
Alfred Hitchcock: Oh, I guess I'll just have to practice some more. So much for the sideshow. Now, turn your attention to the center ring where you will find our main attraction.
[bows slightly]