[introduction - Hitchcock, wearing a hay and mustache, is putting things in a box]
Alfred Hitchcock: Good evening. I was just putting weights in this box of trash so it will sink quickly. I'm about to throw it into the river. Perhaps I should explain why I'm here. Mr. Hitchcock is indisposed this evening. As a matter of fact, we can't find him anywhere. I'm quite worried. I wouldn't want anything to happen to him. You see, I'm his brother and sole heir. Of course, we mustn't let brother Alfred's absence interfere with the evening's entertainment. I'm sure he would want it that way.
[Hitchcock's "brother" takes papers out of his coat pocket]
Alfred Hitchcock: I have his notes. The second item on the agenda is a drama entitled "Little White Frock". As for the first item, he says...
[reads note]
Alfred Hitchcock: I know my brother thinks I'm rather dull and somewhat of a prude, but this language is much too frank for television. I don't know about you, but I'm very curious about anything that would provoke such language. Er, shall we have a go at it?