- Bernard Bernstein: Tell me, how do you celebrate Brotherhood Week?
- Archie Bunker: Well, bein' an only child, I never do.
- Edith Bunker: [Mr Bernstein is leaving suddenly, to see if he can fix his invention before Archie invests in it] Well, maybe he'd like to have a little dinner first.
- Archie Bunker: Oh, no, he's gotta fix it, he don't need no dinner.
- Edith Bunker: Everybody needs dinner.
- Archie Bunker: No, these people don't need to eat.
- Edith Bunker: Oh, Archie.
- Archie Bunker: It is true, Edith. They even made a holiday out of it. They starve themselves a whole day, then they fill up on young kippers.
- Bernard Bernstein: Listen, Bunker, let's face it. It's possible that people like you and me were never meant to be rich.
- Archie Bunker: Oh, never say that.
- Bernard Bernstein: Why the hell not? It's true. Like my Tante Malka used to say, there are two kinds of losers: schlemiels and schlimazels. A schlemiel goes through life spilling soup. And a schlimazel's the guy he spills it on.
- Archie Bunker: [Bernard Bernstein visits to discuss Archie's investment in his invention, though Edith has serious reservations] That's Bernstein. I'll get the door. Will you take the sour look off your face? You remind me of your mother.
- Archie Bunker: [he opens the door] Hi-ya there, partner, come on in, come on in, Bernstein, come on in the house here, and welcome to our home. And as youse people say, Sh-boom.
- Bernard Bernstein: [Bernstein decides not to make a point of Archie's ignorance] And Sh-boom to you, Bunker. And to you, Mrs Bunker, Shalom.
- Edith Bunker: Shalom, Mr Bernstein.