All in the Family (TV Series)

Lionel Moves Into the Neighborhood (1971)

Carroll O'Connor: Archie Bunker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Archie : [Archie is explaining to Lionel why blacks shouldn't move into the neighborhood]  They ain't gonna be happy here. What are they gonna do? What are they gonna do for recreation? There ain't a crap game or a pool hall in the whole neighborhood. There ain't a chicken shack or a rib joint within miles.

  Lionel Jefferson : No ribs? Lawd All Mighty, what is we gonna do?

• Lionel Jefferson : [Feigning shock upon learning blacks bought the Bowman house]  Does Mike know about this?

  Archie : Yeah, he knows about it. All he can say is twelve percent of the neighborhood oughta be black.

  Lionel Jefferson : Twelve percent? Oh, no, if you follow that thinking, 88% of the Harlem Globetrotters oughta be white!

• [Archie finds out the Jeffersons have bought the house next door] 

  Edith : I think it's wonderful.

  Archie : Oh you'll think it's wonderful when the watermelon rinds come flying out the window.

• Michael 'Meathead' Stivic : In today's society, if something doesn't work, you throw it out.

  Archie : Well you don't work. Maybe we better throw you out.

• Archie : Well, stop that! You sing like a piece of chalk on a chalkboard!

• Archie : So, how'd you like the "Julia" show last night?

  Mrs. Jefferson : Fine - how did you like Doris Day?

• Archie : Hey, Jim, I was just thinking of something: remember Old Man McNab?

  Jim Bowman : Yeah, I remember him.

  Archie : Remember how he tried to sell his house to some Jews, and you came around with that petition to keep them out? You wouldn't turn around and do what McNab tried to do, would you?

  Jim Bowman : Sell to Jews?, Oh, no, these people are Baptists!

  [Referring to the Jeffersons]