All in the Family (TV Series)

Meet the Bunkers (1971)

Rob Reiner: Michael 'Meathead' Stivic

Photos 

Quotes 

• Archie Bunker : Now wait a minute, Meathead, you said that, not me. I never said your black beauties was lazy. It's just their systems is geared a little slower than the rest of us.

  Mike Stivic : Archie...

  Archie Bunker : You don't believe me, look it up.

  Gloria Stivic : He's prejudiced, there's no hope for him. No hope at all.

  Archie Bunker : I'm not prejudiced, any man deserves my respect and he's gonna get it irregardless of his color.

  Mike Stivic : Then what are you calling them names like black beauties for?

  Archie Bunker : Now that's where I got you, mister liberal, because there's a black guy who works down at the building with me, he's got a bumper sticker on his car that says 'Black is Beautiful', huh, so what's the matter with black beauties?

  Edith Bunker : It's nicer than when he called them coons.

• Archie Bunker : If your spics and your spades want their rightful share of the American dream, let 'em get out there and hustle for it like I done.

  Mike Stivic : So now you're going to tell me the black man has just as must chance as the white man to get a job?

  Archie Bunker : More, he has more... I didn't have no million people marchin' and protestin' to get me my job.

  Edith Bunker : No, his uncle got it for him.

• Edith Bunker : I think he's right, Archie. Like, you haven't said the word "Coon" in almost a year.

  Archie Bunker : What are you talking about? I say it everyday.

  Mike Stivic : You haven't said it in front of us.

  Archie Bunker : Alright then: Coon! Coon! Coon! You wanted it, you got it.

• Mike Stivic : See? Look at how he

  [Archie] 

  Mike Stivic : uses his hands when he argues. A very Semitic gesture.

  Archie Bunker : What do you know about it, you dumb Polack?

  Mike Stivic : Yeah, all right, I'm a Polack.

  Archie Bunker : You sure are. You're a Polack joke!

  Mike Stivic : Okay, I'm Polish, and I'm proud of that.

  Lionel Jefferson : Just like you should be proud that you're Jewish.

  Archie Bunker : But I ain't Jewish!

  Edith : [confused]  I didn't know you was Jewish.

  Archie Bunker : [completely exasperated, gesturing wildly and yelling]  What the hell are you talking about? You of all people should know I ain't Jewish!

  Edith : Well, you *are* talkin' with your hands.

• Archie Bunker : I used to know a whole flock of them coloreds in the old neighborhood. One went by the name of Roundtree Cummerbatch.

  Mike Stivic : You never knew anybody by that name. You made it up.

  Archie Bunker : I made up a name like Roundtree Cummerbatch?

  Mike Stivic : That's right, you made it up to put down a black man.