- Archie Bunker: Now wait a minute, Meathead, you said that, not me. I never said your black beauties was lazy. It's just their systems is geared a little slower than the rest of us.
- Mike Stivic: Archie...
- Archie Bunker: You don't believe me, look it up.
- Gloria Stivic: He's prejudiced, there's no hope for him. No hope at all.
- Archie Bunker: I'm not prejudiced, any man deserves my respect and he's gonna get it irregardless of his color.
- Mike Stivic: Then what are you calling them names like black beauties for?
- Archie Bunker: Now that's where I got you, mister liberal, because there's a black guy who works down at the building with me, he's got a bumper sticker on his car that says 'Black is Beautiful', huh, so what's the matter with black beauties?
- Edith Bunker: It's nicer than when he called them coons.
- Archie Bunker: If your spics and your spades want their rightful share of the American dream, let 'em get out there and hustle for it like I done.
- Mike Stivic: So now you're going to tell me the black man has just as must chance as the white man to get a job?
- Archie Bunker: More, he has more... I didn't have no million people marchin' and protestin' to get me my job.
- Edith Bunker: No, his uncle got it for him.
- Archie Bunker: I stopped in the gent's room the other day, so help me there was a man in there with a ponytail. My heart nearly turned over, I thought I was in the wrong toilet.
- Archie Bunker: Back in my day, they wasn't called Chicanos or Anglo-Americans or Afro-Americans, we was all Americans so if a guy was a jig or a spick, it was his own business.
- Edith Bunker: I think he's right, Archie. Like, you haven't said the word "Coon" in almost a year.
- Archie Bunker: What are you talking about? I say it everyday.
- Mike Stivic: You haven't said it in front of us.
- Archie Bunker: Alright then: Coon! Coon! Coon! You wanted it, you got it.
- Lionel Jefferson: [Archie comments on the three-piece suit he's wearing] I also got a yellow one with stripes and a purple one with checks for when I'm with MY people.
- Mike Stivic: See? Look at how he
- [Archie]
- Mike Stivic: uses his hands when he argues. A very Semitic gesture.
- Archie Bunker: What do you know about it, you dumb Polack?
- Mike Stivic: Yeah, all right, I'm a Polack.
- Archie Bunker: You sure are. You're a Polack joke!
- Mike Stivic: Okay, I'm Polish, and I'm proud of that.
- Lionel Jefferson: Just like you should be proud that you're Jewish.
- Archie Bunker: But I ain't Jewish!
- Edith: [confused] I didn't know you was Jewish.
- Archie Bunker: [completely exasperated, gesturing wildly and yelling] What the hell are you talking about? You of all people should know I ain't Jewish!
- Edith: Well, you *are* talkin' with your hands.
- Archie Bunker: I used to know a whole flock of them coloreds in the old neighborhood. One went by the name of Roundtree Cummerbatch.
- Mike Stivic: You never knew anybody by that name. You made it up.
- Archie Bunker: I made up a name like Roundtree Cummerbatch?
- Mike Stivic: That's right, you made it up to put down a black man.
- Archie Bunker: Hey Lionel, that's a pretty nifty looking suit you got on there, its classy, you know, It's quiet. Where'd you get it?
- Lionel Jefferson: Oh, up.in Harlem.
- Archie Bunker: Naww...
- Lionel Jefferson: I got two more. One's yellow with stripes, the other one's purple with checks... you know, for when I'm with *my* people