Carroll O'Connor: Archie Bunker

Quotes 

• Stephanie : Thanks, Uncle Archie.

  Archie : Me? But it's from your father.

  Stephanie : My father doesn't spell "Daddy" D-A-D-Y.

• Edith : You know what we're gonna do tomorrow?

  Archie : Don't tell me.

  Edith : We're gonna throw Stephanie a birthday party.

  Archie : She tells me anyway.

• Edith Bunker : [about Dr. Sydney Shapiro]  He was so smart. He had always wanted to make a bat.

  Archie Bunker : A ball bat?

  Edith Bunker : No, a real bat. He wanted to cross a mouse with a bird.

  Archie Bunker : THAT'S the genius you got working on our kid in there?

• Archie : Hey Sydney, you're a real chimp off the old block.

• Archie Bunker : What kind of a doctor chokes up to the house in a Plymouth? Let me call Dr. Kurtsman who glides around in a Lincoln.

• Dr. Sidney Shapiro : That girl needs her appendix taken out. If you want a second opinion, take her to the hospital and have it done there.

  Archie Bunker : But I want a second opinion to see if she should go to the hospital.

• Archie Bunker : I nearly killed the child.

  Edith Bunker : You couldn't help it if her appendix burst.

  Archie Bunker : Who said young Dr. Shapiro shouldn't do it? Who said old Dr. Shapiro should? Who thought we should get Dr. Kurtsman - who never called me back from the Copa Cabana. Who done all them stupid things?

  Edith Bunker : You did.

• Archie Bunker : We'd barely have enough strength to drag ourselves over the hill to the bone orchard.

  Edith Bunker : I ain't going to no bone orchard.

  Archie Bunker : If I go, you go.