American Dad! (TV Series)

Not Particularly Desperate Housewife (2005)

Wendy Schaal: Francine Smith

Quotes 

• Stan Smith : [after Francine brings home a dog]  What the hell is that?

  Francine Smith : This is Fussy. His owner was killed, and he needs a home.

  Stan Smith : No way, Francine! We're Smiths, and Smiths have manly dogs. This dog couldn't be any more effeminate, even if it had 20 vaginas, and then it would just be a freakish mutant or a beautiful symbol of fertility.

• Francine Smith : Stan, help me. I've been faking an affair to impress the Ladybugs. They found out I was lying, and now they're trying to kill me.

  Stan Smith : A cult of murderous housewives. Before 9\11, I wouldn't have believed it, or at least I'd ask you some follow-up questions, but that's just not the world we live in anymore.

• Francine Smith : [after Linda saves Francine from being killed by the Ladybugs]  What are you doing here?

  Linda Memari : Duh. It's Wednesday, our grocery shopping day?

  Francine Smith : Isn't that crazy? I thought my boring routine was killing me, but it ended up saving my life. And that fake lesbian kiss, What a great idea!

  Linda Memari : Fake? Oh, yeah... of course. Fake.

• Linda Memari : [to Francine]  So did you throw out the lasagna?

  Francine Smith : No. I just have to find a way to make it taste fresh on Thursday, but tonight is "Leftover Wednesday", so I have to make a casserole that tastes like I made it yesterday. If I stay in this rut, it won't be long until it's "Head-In-The-Oven Friday."

• Francine Smith : Okay, calm down. It's not cheating. It's just acting. Acting's not that hard. Renée Zellweger just makes it look hard.