American Dad! (TV Series)

Roger Codger (2005)

Seth MacFarlane: Stan Smith, Roger the Alien, Greg Corbin, Alan Greenspan

Photos 

Quotes 

• Stanley Smith : My butt is on the line!

  Roger the Alien : Well, that must be one massive line, 'cause your butt is huge!

• Steve Smith : Don't you have any feelings?

  Stanley Smith : Son, feelings are what women have. They come from their ovaries.

• [phone rings, Hayley answers] 

  Hayley Smith : Hello?

  Roger the Alien : Hayley? Roger. Got a sec?

  Hayley Smith : Roger? Whoah! Is this one of those Twilight Zone phones where I can talk to the dead, but only with horrible, ironic consequences?

  Roger the Alien : Oh, right, it's past noon, you're already high.

• Stanley Smith : Sorry I'm late, I was getting a piping-hot cup of coffee. It's far too hot to drink, but luckily my leathery man-mouth can take it.

• Roger the Alien : Don't hurt me! I know it sounds cliche, but I mean you no harm!

  Stanley Smith : You're the alien? But they said you'd be bigger, and with claws.

  Roger the Alien : Oh, I've got claws. Look how fat you are. See? Kitty can scratch.

• Stanley Smith : [Stan is brushing his teeth, and breaks the toothbrush]  Damn Chinese toothbrushes! You know, they can make a chicken taste like an orange, but when it comes to oral hygiene, they really phone it in.

• Roger the Alien : God! Who do you have to probe around here to get a Chardonnay?

• [Stan is about to shoot Roger; Francine, Hayley and Steve stand in the way] 

  Stanley Smith : Nobody threatens my family! Now get out of the way or I'll shoot you all!

  Hayley Smith : Oh, God, it's my junior prom all over again.

• Gertie : You tell him he's a Carpetbagger!

  Roger the Alien : [Drunk]  You're a Carpetbagger, Stan! Wassat?