- Billy Gordon: What're we stoppin' here for?
- Ike Gordon: Ain't this your house, Sheriff?
- Andy Taylor: That's right. We figured this would be a better place to rehabilitate you.
- Billy Gordon: Oh, no! We heard about this place! It's "The Rock"!
- Barney Fife: Great work, Chief! Who are they? What'd you get 'em on? 502? 626? 308? Want me to send out an APB?
- Andy Taylor: All Points Bulletin, Barney? They're already here! They're captured!
- Otis Campbell: Andy, you gotta get me outta this! She's about to work me to death!
- Andy Taylor: Aunt Bee?
- Otis Campbell: Aunt Bee? "Bloody Mary"!
- Aunt Bee Taylor: [merrily] Hello, boys! I've been waiting for you!
- Billy Gordon: [panic stricken] "Bloody Mary"!
- Barney Fife: Sure is good to be doin' a capacity business, huh, Sheriff? Both these babies filled up.
- Andy Taylor: Well, to tell you the truth, I'd as soon see them cells empty. That way we know law and order's bein' observed.
- Barney Fife: Now, I have here a woodcarving set, a leather craft set, a metal craft set and a Mr. Potato set. Now, who wants what? Now, it makes no difference to me which one you take. Well, come on! Come on! Speak up! Which one do you want?
- Junior Gordon: I'll take the Mr. Potato set.
- Aunt Bee Taylor: What was that you said about being a prisoner?
- Otis Campbell: Oh. I said I'm a prisoner in this house and I expect to be treated like one!
- Aunt Bee Taylor: Well, if you're a prisoner, I'm responsible for you and that makes me the warden!
- Otis Campbell: Oh, Aunt Bee, don't holler so much, please? I got a head that feels like it was in a drawer all night! Now, will you go away?
- Aunt Bee Taylor: [dumps a vase of water over his head] Get up, prisoner and get to work!
- Otis Campbell: Work?
- Aunt Bee Taylor: That's right! And you can start with your room! Clean it up!
- Otis Campbell: Clean? Ohhh, Andy! Where's Andy? I'm a prisoner!