The Andy Griffith Show (TV Series)

Barney's First Car (1963)

Don Knotts: Barney Fife

Photos 

Quotes 

• Barney Fife : The last big buy I made was my mom's and dad's anniversary present.

  Andy Taylor : What'd ya get 'em?

  Barney Fife : Septic tank.

  Andy Taylor : For their anniversary?

  Barney Fife : Yeah. Oh, they're really hard to buy for. Besides, it was something they could use. They were really thrilled. Two tons of concrete, all steel reinforced.

  Andy Taylor : You're a fine son, Barn.

  Barney Fife : Well, I try.

• Thelma Lou : I smell gas. Do you smell gas, Andy?

  Andy Taylor : I smell gas.

  Opie Taylor : I smell gas.

  Gomer Pyle : I smell gas.

  Aunt Bee Taylor : I smell gas, too.

  Barney Fife : All right, all right, all right, you smell gas! Course you smell gas! What do you think this car runs on, coal?

• Barney Fife : All right, is everybody set back there?

  Opie Taylor : I'm all set.

  Aunt Bee Taylor : I'm all set.

  Gomer Pyle : I'm all set.

  Barney Fife : How 'bout the front seat?

  Thelma Lou : I'm all set.

  Andy Taylor : I'm all set.

  Gomer Pyle : Hope I don't get carsick.

  Barney Fife : [quickly but insistently]  Opie, you trade places with Gomer. I want him near a window.

• Barney Fife : [as his passengers sing "Old MacDonald Had a Farm"]  Wait a minute! Hold it, everybody! Listen!

  [everyone quiets down and bumping sounds are heard] 

  Andy Taylor : Just bumps on the road.

  Thelma Lou : What it sounds like to me.

  Gomer Pyle : It's just bumps on the road.

  Aunt Bee Taylor : That's what it sounds like to me.

  Opie Taylor : Me, too.