- Deputy Barney Fife: I know how we can keep him from goin' to Raleigh.
- Floyd Lawson: How are you gonna do that?
- Deputy Barney Fife: All we have to do is manufacture a little trouble.
- Floyd Lawson: You bein' sheriff is trouble enough. That should keep him here.
- Andy Taylor: Now, he was drivin' a little red sportscar, carryin a shotgun, and wearin' a big black mask. Didn't you get a little suspicious?
- Goober Pyle: He coulda been huntin' ducks.
- Andy Taylor: Wearin' a mask?
- Goober Pyle: Well, uh, they are out of season.
- Floyd Lawson: He's got nice hair. It's soft but it's strong. It's easy to clip. He sits real still in the chair too. Doesn't fidget one bit.