The Andy Griffith Show (TV Series)

The Bank Job (1962)

Don Knotts: Barney Fife

Photos 

Quotes 

• Deputy Barney Fife : Andy, these people are making a fool out of the word "security"! The bank guard is a joke! Look at him! Cash drawers are left open, the vault is open...

  Sheriff Andy Taylor : Barney, you're getting all steamed up over this. Why don't you just take the rest of the day off? Go on over to the drugstore and have a nice lunch. The businessman's special is a hollowed-out tomato stuffed with avocado and raisins. And it's gooooood, too. And top things off with a lemon phosphate and you're right in business.

• Sheriff Andy Taylor : [Andy and Barney are walking out of the bank with Barney disgusted at how apathetic everyone, including Asa, the security guard, is toward the bank's security. Andy is trying to calm Barney down]  Now, simmer down, Barn.

  Deputy Barney Fife : Four years Asa's been walkin' around without any screws in his gun! Where's the hardware store? Right down the street, a whip and a whisker away! Boy, oh, boy!

  Sheriff Andy Taylor : Alright, I'll go get screws and put 'em in Asa's gun. What kind of gun has Asa got?

  Deputy Barney Fife : Oh, one of those old Teddy Roosevelt horse pistols.

• Mr. Meldrim, the Bank Manager : [the bank teller walks up as Barney and the bank manager are talking]  Go ahead, Barney. Tell her what you told me.

  Deputy Barney Fife : I simply said that after a thorough examination, I find this bank lacking any countermeasures whatsoever in the event of a 10-12.

  Mr. Meldrim, the Bank Manager : [to the bank teller]  Well?... Glenn Ford! That was great, Barney!

• Barney Fife : What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a man take off a dress before?