- Clement O'Toole: [reading a wanted poster] Wanted in the Kansas Territory for robbery, rustlin' and general all around meanness - Yancy Colton, alias Charley Hayes, Bud Jensen...
- Deputy Sheriff Lofty Craig: ...alias Clement O'Toole.
- Clement O'Toole: But I tell you, I *am* Clement O'Toole from Philadelphia. I'm no outlaw! I'm a grocery clerk.
- Deputy Sheriff Lofty Craig: In this outfit?
- Clement O'Toole: Well, the man who sold them to me from the Emporium said it was the right thing to wear.
- Deputy Sheriff Lofty Craig: Uh-huh. Well, what's the six-gun for? Opening canned beans?
- Bragan: What'd you find out, Al?
- Al: Plenty. Coltan's got the whole town in an uproar and there's nothing they can do about it.
- Henchman Rick: Is he using an alias again?
- Al: Yeah, he's going by the name Clement O'Toole. How about that. Ha!
- Bragan: He's clever, he's up to something.
- Henchman Rick: Probably the bank, that's his specialty.
- Bragan: You know, Rick, for once I think you've got something.
- Al: What do you mean, Boss?
- Bragan: The bank, it's gonna be robbed, all right. We're gonna be beating Yancy Coltan to it.
- Tagg Oakley: [Tagg is seated in the Sheriff's office so that no one can see he's the same height as his sister] Gosh, Lofty, why are women so smart?
- Deputy Sheriff Lofty Craig: It's a myth, Tagg, just like that intuition business.
- Annie Oakley: Lofty Craig!
- Deputy Sheriff Lofty Craig: Aw, come on now, Annie. You know it's true. Take my face, what you can tell just by looking at it.
- [Annie handles his smooth, shaven chin. one way and then the other. She giggles and then they all burst out laughing]