Are You Being Served? (TV Series)

Dear Sexy Knickers... (1973)

Wendy Richard: Miss Brahms

Photos 

Quotes 

• Miss Brahms : [Miss Brahms and Mrs Slocombe realize they can see into the men's fitting room]  Well, it wouldn't make the centre page of Cosmopolitan.

  Mrs. Slocombe : Now that's something I just can't understand; why anybody wants to buy a women's magazine with a picture of a nude man in it. Ooh, I think it's awful!

  Miss Brahms : I thought Burt Reynolds looked quite sexy.

  Mrs. Slocombe : Well, you couldn't see anything; his arm was in the way.

• Captain Stephen Peacock : How are the sales going Mrs. Slocombe?

  Mrs. Slocombe : Well, in lingerie, pants are up and bras are down.

  Captain Stephen Peacock : Better than the other way around, eh, Mrs. Slocombe?

  Mrs. Slocombe : Now, now, Captain Peacock, you mustn't say things like that in front of my little assistant.

  Miss Brahms : Don't worry about me. I don't wear 'em.

  [Captain Peacock looks at her] 

  Miss Brahms : Bras I mean.

  Captain Stephen Peacock : I'm sure it's against staff regulations. But still I'm always prepared to look the other way.

  Miss Brahms : Yeah, you could've fooled me.

• Mrs. Slocombe : [about Captain Peacock]  Ooh, I've no time for that man. He's got such cold eyes.

  Miss Brahms : And such hot hands.

  Mrs. Slocombe : Well, I wouldn't know about that. If he tried anything like that with me, I'd slap his chops.

• Mrs. Slocombe : [about Mr. Lucas]  He's so obliging, and he's such a gentleman. You know, yesterday when we were trapped in the lift alone together. He didn't try anything.

  Miss Brahms : Didn't he?

  Mrs. Slocombe : No, he just pressed the alarm bell and shouted for help.

• Mrs. Slocombe : Well, I was saying, I don't get out much nowadays, since Mr. Slocombe's no longer living at home. I mean, it's very difficult for a woman on her own. I mean you can't just go down to the pub for a quick drink with all those men ogling at you, can you? Well, not more than twice a week, anyway.

  Miss Brahms : But what happened to the man on the bus, the one you gave your phone number to? Didn't he ring you?

  Mrs. Slocombe : I think he did.

  Miss Brahms : What do you mean you think he did?

  Mrs. Slocombe : Well, it sounded like his heavy breathing, but I couldn't be certain.

• Mrs. Slocombe : [reading Mr. Lucas' letter to Miss Brahms, thinking it is from Captain Peacock and meant for her]  "Dear, Sexy Knickers... I don't have fancy you. Meet me outside at five thirty, and we'll get it together." Get what?

  [realizing] 

  Mrs. Slocombe : Well, really.

  Miss Brahms : I didn't think you had sexy knickers.

  Mrs. Slocombe : As a matter of fact, they're directoire. Some men get quite worked up about them, you know.

  Miss Brahms : Over directoire knickers?

  Mrs. Slocombe : Well, there is an air of mystery about them. Well, there was during the war anyway.

  Miss Brahms : I suppose with all those bombs falling down at the time, it made 'em a bit more exciting. You gonna go?

  Mrs. Slocombe : Well, from the tone of the note, my first instict was to refuse but... well, he is the head of the department and I am at a loose end.

  Miss Brahms : I'm not surprised, in directoire knickers.

  Mrs. Slocombe : That'll do, Miss Brahms. Well, of course, I shall have to give a reply. I think I shall be discreet and use the telephone.

• Mrs. Slocombe : [about Captain Peacock]  Have you shown him any encouragement?

  Miss Brahms : I've never shown him anything!

• Miss Brahms : [on the phone]  Just because I let you take my corsets down once, doesn't mean to say that I fancy you.