- George Sr.: Soak the puppet's mouth with ether, and have Franklin give Lucille a kiss to knock her out.
- Gob: [as Franklin] I ain't kissin' that ol' bitch!
- George Sr.: [starts to choke Franklin] That's my wife, you bastard!
- Gob: Dad, that's my wrist!
- George Sr.: [chokes Gob]
- Gob: [as Franklin] Hey, that's his neck!
- Gob: Franklin said some things Whitey wasn't ready to hear.
- Michael Bluth: G.O.B., weren't you also mercilessly beaten outside of a club in Torrance for that act?
- Gob: He also said some things that African-American-y wasn't ready to hear either.
- Mae "Maeby" Fünke: Who's the hottie?
- Michael Bluth: This is Ann's mother.
- Mae "Maeby" Fünke: Her? Does she look old enough to play Topher Grace's mom?
- George-Michael Bluth: Gangy's having an anniversary party?
- Michael Bluth: Seems that way.
- George-Michael Bluth: Is Franklin gonna be there?
- Gob: See that, Mike. Kids love Franklin.
- George-Michael Bluth: I just don't want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann.
- Gob: [about Ann] Plus, that one is religious. It gets pregnant, it stays pregnant. I know, I dated a chick like that once in high school. Wait... no, I didn't.
- Mario: Boy, you get a lot of mail from that movie studio.
- Mae "Maeby" Fünke: I write a lot of letters to movie stars.
- Mario: You seem a little old for that.
- Mae "Maeby" Fünke: Babysit me!
- Lindsay Bluth Fünke: You do realize that's Tobias, right?
- Lucille: If he's going to get in my closet, he's got to work for it.
- Michael Bluth: I don't like her.
- Lindsay Bluth Fünke: You know, maybe if you stop judging her, he'd trust you. Look, if you say no, you're just gonna drive him right to her.
- George-Michael Bluth: [entering] Hey, Dad. Can you drive me to Ann's?
- Michael Bluth: Nnnn... yyes.