Arrested Development (TV Series)

Pilot (2003)

Will Arnett: Gob Bluth

Quotes 

• Michael Bluth : So this is the magic trick, huh?

  George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money...

  [sees children watching his magic] 

  George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : ...or cocaine!

• [after being put in charge, Buster passes out at his first board meeting] 

  Lucille Bluth : We need Michael.

  George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : [holding a glass]  We need ice.

  [two paramedics pick up a stretcher with Buster on it] 

  Byron "Buster" Bluth : Michael. We need Michael.

• [Gob is being interviewed for an office job] 

  Interviewer : It was really only your brother we were interested in. I mean, you don't even have any references.

  [Gob performs a magic trick involving a small explosion and ending with a dove spontaneously appearing] 

  George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : Is that enough of a reference for you?

  [the dove lands on interviewer's head] 

  Interviewer : Even a letter of recommendation? Something like that.

• father : It's come down to the two of ya, and... I'll be honest. I'm just more comfortable with an Alliance-approved magician.

  Gob : [sulks]  Well... give 'em a helluva show, champ!

  teenage magician : [bleep]  off, traitor.

• Captain : How are you?

  Gob : Incredible. I'm having an incredible year.

  [High Fives the Captain] 

• George Michael Bluth : Uncle Gob? Uncle Gob?

  Gob : Give me a dollar, no! the twenty. This is gonna blow your mind. Some say wealth is an illusion, well let's just see. For one moment it's here and the next... Monopoly. You don't have it do you?

  George Michael Bluth : I think I might.

  Gob : Thats good cause alot of the pieces are missing. Ah, to play monopoly with my family again. I'd give anything to be eight.

  George Michael Bluth : I'm thirteen.

  Gob : Nah, I wasn't crazy about thirteen. The acne, the self-consciousness, the erections. You okay?

  George Michael Bluth : Yeah, I'm good

  Gob : Hey! there's the man I came to see.

  George Michael Bluth : Uh, Uncle Gob where's the twenty?

  Gob : Hey! a magician never reveals his secrets, that's what I started the whole alliance about.

  George Michael Bluth : I don't need the secret I just need the...

  Gob : What you need to know...

  [dramatic pause] 

  Gob : Is that it's magic.

  George Michael Bluth : Wow... It's so much like stealing.

• Gob : You know, I sorta thought my contribution... could be a magic show!

  Michael : Hey, that's great! That's perfect, Gob! Oh, wait, I just remembered, Dad's retiring, not turning six.

• George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : Are those police boats?