"Auf Wiedersehen, Pet" If I Were a Carpenter (TV Episode 1983) Poster

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7/10
If I Were a Carpenter
Prismark109 June 2020
I was aware in the late 1970s of people going to West Germany looking for work because my cousin went there. I think his marriage was also falling apart so that might have been an impetus.

Once the recession bit in the early 1980s, there were a lot of people looking to go abroad looking for work from the UK. This was how Franc Roddam got the idea for the series and the script for the first episode was written by those likely lads, Dick Clement & Ian La Frenais.

The episode follows Geordies Dennis,Oz and Neville travelling to Dusseldorf in a clapped out car. Oz is the joker of the pack who does not take thing seriously. Dennis has been to work in Germany before and he has split up from his wife. Neville is leaving his wife behind as he needs the money.

As they arrive late at the work site because their car bit the dust. They have to stay in the workers hut rather than a hostel. It is all Stalag 17. There they hook up with Londoner Wayne, there is big Bomber and later Barry arrives.

It is actually a very fast paced episode given it has to introduce the characters and work setting. Neville pretends to be a carpenter as there was no vacancy for a brickie. The rest of the lads spend their evenings at the local bar and some of them go looking for the brothel. Not Wayne, he is a babe magnet.

There are flashbacks as to Dennis and Neville's home life. They seem to the the most level headed especially as Neville is both seasick and homesick in the opener.
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8/10
"For you Tommy the war is over"
ygwerin16 July 2020
Warning: Spoilers
When I first heard of this show I thought that all of the lads in it were geordies, but no just 3 of them.

Here they start up with the 3 geordie Musketeers Dennis, Neville and Oz heading off to Germany on the ferry.

That's were they meet Barry the brummie, who apparently has already worked with Dennis on another job.

Barry talks to Dennis about different building sits in and indicated, the German gaffer who is booking labour for the different sites.

The Dusseldorf site only requires 2 brickies and chippies, while the 3 geordies are all brickies.

They are travelling in Oz's clapped out old banger when they bump into Wayne a Londoner, who tries to cadge a lift but they make their excuses to get shot of him.

On the site they arrive late because of Oz's old banger, the hostel is full and they are lumbered with the site hut.

Wayne is already on the site when they finally managed to reach it.

Here they meet up with Bomber from the west country who reckons he has a good job to go to in Bristol, but manages to cock it up for himself.

Barry arrived on his motorbike he had tried a site in Munchen Gladbach, but reckoned he did not fancy it and decided to chance his arm on their site.
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10/10
Neville was a Carpenter
nephihaha27 January 2012
I have a soft spot for Auf Wiedersehen Pet, because I used to work on building sites, and I've spent a lot of time in Germany as well. The lines in this are so well delivered, that they sound exactly like the things real people would say, and they don't sound scripted at all. I've met people who could have stepped right out of it. I've experienced things that could have been in it. But the jokes are probably better than a lot of the real "banter" I've heard.

Auf Wiedersehen Pet was always a comedy drama – or comedy/drama, and the first episode is more drama, than comedy. It's mainly a set up, but there are still some great comedy lines in it. Some folk say that it's very male-orientated, which is true, but there always were strong female characters in it, and we get to see a few of them too.

I've always loved this series. I never got to see it when it was originally broadcast, but I've seen it many times since. It's certainly one of the best acted and best written British sitcoms of the eighties. Most of the other sitcoms of the time have dated horribly, and were usually set in comfortable middle class suburbs in the Home Counties. AWP was different from them, in so many ways. It showed what many ordinary people were going through at the time.

In the 1980s, nearly 30,000 people from the UK had to go to work in Germany to make ends meet. AWP is about a group of seven English builders who work in Düsseldorf, and the culture shock that they experience. It's also about the relationships between them and their families, each other, and between them and the Germans. They are forced to live in a wooden hut on site, because the hostel's full, and at the weekends, they get into all kinds of trouble on the town. Although there are frequent references to World War Two, the show avoids stereotyping the German characters themselves as being some kind of Nazis. True, the German gaffers are a bit too serious (many Germans are in real life), but the Germans are treated as human beings throughout the series.

It's also one of the few shows I can think of which shows the full variety of English working class people as well. There isn't much attempt to poshen up their accents, or have them all speaking like Londoners. Three of the characters use Broad Geordie all the time, one's from the West Midlands, and another's West Country. They're just shown as they are. Oz is a rough diamond, whose Gateshead accent and blinkered attitudes lead to a lot of misunderstanding. Wayne is a chirpy Cockney who spends half his time listening to music, and the other trying to seduce women. Dennis manages to solve everybody else's problems, but has trouble enough with his own. Barry – my favourite– is a kind of bizarre (and occasionally boring) Brummie philosopher, "the Prince of Trivia". Neville is deadly serious, a loyal husband, and someone who wants to be somewhere else all the time. Bomber is a larger than life Bristolian, who keeps on losing his money through gambling, partying and womanising, in some kind of attempt to regain his youth...

The characters are some of the most memorable on British TV. They're all lovable in their own way. Even Oz and Wayne are good guys in the end up. They're the best mates you never had.

It's sad to think though, that at least three of the main actors are dead – Gary Holton (Wayne), Pat Roach (Bomber) and Vera. Before this programme most of the cast were unknowns – Pat Roach (Bomber) had appeared in "Raiders of the Lost Ark", and "Barry Lyndon" already, and was a notable wrestler, but he was the exception. But by the time the series had ended, the seven actors were all stars. They went on to greater things. Jimmy Nail became a successful solo artist, selling a million albums and appearing in "Spender"; Kevin Whateley got the sidekick role in "Inspector Morse", and his own series in "Lewis" and Timothy Spall has gone on to serious roles in stuff like "The Damned United", "The King's Speech" and "Pierrepoint" etc. Tim Healy (Dennis) hasn't made such a big impression as the other ones perhaps, but he's still instantly recognisable, and has done some good work. Gary Holton, like I said, was taken from us too soon, as a result of bad lifestyle choices...

And if you want to know why they're famous, watch this! Anyway, enough of my guff.

High Point: Just great to see this legendary series coming together.

Low Point: Exposé, the band that taste forgot (who dress in baseball gear) Also no Moxey! Christopher Fairbank fans have to wait til the next episode.

Look out for: Dennis giving building advice to Dutch custom officers; The German building site (now known as "Eastenders"' Albert Square!); A German bridge that looks suspiciously like one in Newcastle (and in Sydney).
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10/10
Oz's Ford Zephyr
glenn-aylett11 October 2014
Warning: Spoilers
This was the first episode of Auf Pet, where three jobless building workers set off from the North East for Germany to make some tax free money on the building sites. We're introduced to Neville, a sensitive young man who worries about his wife at home, Denis, an older and wiser man whose business and marriage have collapsed, and Oz, a boorish bricklayer whose main interests revolve around beer, women and football.

However, what really makes this episode, where we are briefly introduced to the other characters Bomber, Barry and Wayne, is the clapped out Ford Zephyr Oz buys for the trip across with its rust ridden and different coloured body panels, bits hanging off and engine pouring out smoke due to mistreatment. Having just about made it to Rotterdam, it breaks down in a motorway service station, makes it Germany before the engine blows up on an autobahn. True to form Oz has cashed in the insurance for beer money, and the car is abandoned, while Wayne spots them from a lorry( they refuse to give him a lift from Rotterdam) and starts laughing.

A classic sub plot that would set the scene for the lads scrapes, japes and misfortunes that was to make the first series of Auf Pet the best drama of the eighties. Also it made Jimmy Nail, then unknown, into a household name as the boorish, tactless chancer Oz who made the series so good.
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