- James Long: You know, you people have ruined this land, you wasted our animals, our forests, fouled up the air, polluted the rivers. Keep that up and Manhattan going to worth even less than you paid for.
- Det. Ron Harris: Yeah, apparently, Mr Lynch here was out for an early evening stroll when he was accosted by little Mr Pedrosa here.
- Capt. Barney Miller: Well we sympathize Mr. Long, but I'm afraid we are going to hold you anyway, nothing personal.
- Dr. Otto Travis: Yes sir, may I help you
- Dr. Otto Travis: Hello , I am Doctor Otto Travis, Archaeologist-In-Residence at the Greenwich Museum of Natural History
- Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich: I'm Art
- Dr. Otto Travis: Hello Art
- Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich: I take it, that you are here about the bones.
- Dr. Otto Travis: I suppose so, this is all so new to me... Anyway, I was at NYU conducting a slide presentation on my recent dig in the Catskills when I was informed of a young man who vandalized my office and made off with some really valuable specimens.
- Gilbert Pedrosa: He wants to borrow the big guy
- Jorge Jesus Maria Sanchez: Si... I want to borrow the big guy... big guy
- Dr. Otto Travis: It's all right Captain, I generally appreciate Mr Long's feelings, I wish he understood how important our work could be.
- James Long: If its so important, why don't you dig up your own family
- Dr. Otto Travis: Somebody will undoubtedly will someday
- Dr. Otto Travis: Mr. Long, we in archeology don't go around digging into sacred burial mounds out of rude curiosity. We're seeking keys to understanding lost societies... lost civilizations
- James Long: If your so interesting in Indians, why don't you go talking to a couple of live ones.
- Dr. Otto Travis: I'm not an anthropologist
- Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich: Uh, Doc, you want to have a seat over here and finish reading the complaint
- Dr. Otto Travis: Oh, thank you, thank you
- Capt. Barney Miller: Right here
- James Long: You guys might be surprised if you dug in our brains instead of our bones
- Capt. Barney Miller: All right, Mr. Long
- James Long: Doctor, Water in liquid form exists only on this planet and man is sixty percent water, without water, there is no life, don't you understand. We're destroying our water supply.
- Dr. Otto Travis: You want to go to jail
- James Long: Of course, people have to be reminded
- Dr. Otto Travis: I understand, I will press charges against you
- James Long: Thank you
- Dr. Otto Travis: You are very welcome... Put him away Captain
- Gordon Lynch: Gilbert !
- Gilbert Pedrosa: What do you want ?
- Gordon Lynch: They want me to sign the complaint ?
- Gordon Lynch: So...
- Gordon Lynch: So, I really don't think your a bad lad Gilbert. I just think you need to redirect your energies to something more constructive, more positive, even fun.
- Gilbert Pedrosa: Like what ?
- Gordon Lynch: You ever been to the woods, Gilbert ?
- Gilbert Pedrosa: Maybe... Why, who wants to know ?
- Gordon Lynch: Ah... Just picture it, taking a dive in a cold stream, drying ourselves around the morning campfire while the bacon and eggs are crackling in an old iron skillet, come on, just you and me
- Gilbert Pedrosa: You want me to go into the woods with you ?
- Gordon Lynch: That's it.
- Gilbert Pedrosa: Just you and me ?
- Gordon Lynch: And all of God's creatures
- Gilbert Pedrosa: Yeah, I think I know those creature, man... always trying to bump up against me in the subway... things like that, huh ?
- Capt. Barney Miller: Good Evening
- Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich: Hi Captain
- Capt. Barney Miller: What's happening ?
- Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich: Status Quo -- High Interest Rates, High Employment, High Budget, High Deficit... However, Liz and Dick are talking.
- Capt. Barney Miller: Oh, well, at least there is some good news.
- Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich: Harris and Wojo went out
- Capt. Barney Miller: Thank you.
- Dr. Otto Travis: Mr. Long, I look forward to seeing you at the trail
- James Long: Right... Take care of yourself
- James Long: I'll do my best.
- Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich: See you Doc
- James Long: Thank you
- James Long: What a nice guy
- James Long: That was me... Desecrator... violator of sacred soil... people have no respect of nothing.
- Gordon Lynch: Look son, I understand you had a difficult, deprived, and traumatic childhood, but one more smutty crack like that, and I am going to shove a tent-stake up...
- Capt. Barney Miller: Problem, Mr Lynch ?
- Gordon Lynch: Oh no, no problem
- Capt. Barney Miller: Nah !... We just chatting
- Capt. Barney Miller: Look, If you sign the complaint, you can be on your way
- Gordon Lynch: Fine, What about him ?
- Gilbert Pedrosa: Oh man, don't worry about me, I'll be out of here by the weekend.
- Gordon Lynch: Oh yeah, well, me and the Beaver Patrol are heading on up to Seneca Lake, Friday Night, are you interested ?
- Gilbert Pedrosa: Nah man, I doubt it.
- Gordon Lynch: Suit yourself
- Gilbert Pedrosa: But, if it will make you feel any better, why don't you leave your number with him.
- [Him - in reference to Harris]
- Gordon Lynch: Good Scout... I don't know if I really...
- Det. Ron Harris: He will be out in 48 hours
- Gordon Lynch: Good Scout