Barney Miller (TV Series)
Fire '77 (1977)
Hal Linden: Capt. Barney Miller
Photos
Quotes
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Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : Reports of her death have been greatly exaggerated.
Capt. Barney Miller : [Smiling in recognition] Mark Twain.
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : Yeah.
[pause]
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : But it's in public domain now.
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Thomas Vitella : I'm innocent I tell you. I didn't do nothing
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Hey, put a lid on it Vitella
Capt. Barney Miller : What do we got here ?
Det. Ron Harris : Thomas Vitella. Try to rob St Mark's Cathedral
Capt. Barney Miller : I wa just there to light a candle for my mother
Det. Ron Harris : Yeah, I caught him ripping open one of the poor boxes
Thomas Vitella : I dropped my matches in by mistake
Capt. Barney Miller : Just a victim of circumstances, huh ?
Thomas Vitella : Yeah, right ? What about dragging me out of that church ?
Det. Ron Harris : Come on ?
Thomas Vitella : I asked for sanctuary ?
Capt. Barney Miller : Sanctuary ? No way, if we give it to you, we have to give it to everybody.
Thomas Vitella : Huh?
Capt. Barney Miller : Sit down over there.
Det. Ron Harris : I'll check him for priors
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Thomas Vitella : I almost got my neck broke, too ?
Capt. Barney Miller : How'd that happen ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Wasn't me Barn, it was the priest that grabbed him and caught him till we got there.
Capt. Barney Miller : Good for him ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Yeah, the guy is 68 years old. This is his statement.
Thomas Vitella : The old ones, they really can be brutal. I mean, they got a lot of pent-up strength on account of being celibate so long.
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : Hey Fish.
Det. Phil Fish : Yeah
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : I am having trouble taking this off. Can you give me a hand ?
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Capt. Barney Miller : Ah Harris? Harris, listen, do me a favor will you ?
Det. Ron Harris : Man... I buy at the wrong time . I sell at the wrong time.
Capt. Barney Miller : Sorry to hear that .
Det. Ron Harris : You know, I could have bought Xerox at $13
Capt. Barney Miller : Really ?
Det. Ron Harris : But I said, "Who's gonna spend all that money on a machine when they got carbon paper ?"
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Capt. Barney Miller : Mr Weiskoff, I understand you don't need a lawyer ?
Lawrence Weiskoff : Why ? I'm as guilty as if I killed her myself
Capt. Barney Miller : What do you mean "as if" ? I thought you did.
Lawrence Weiskoff : Maybe I should explain this
Capt. Barney Miller : Maybe you should
Lawrence Weiskoff : You see, Gwen and I had made a suicide pact between the two of us. We just decided that our lives had become empty and meaningless so why keep going ?
Capt. Barney Miller : Keep going... for my benefit.
Lawrence Weiskoff : Well, we couldn't bring ourselves to do it together. So we decided that she would be at her apartment and I would be at mine and then at exactly high noon, she would jump out of her window. And I... I would take a revolver and put a bullet in my head
Capt. Barney Miller : Very poetic.
Lawrence Weiskoff : Thank you
Capt. Barney Miller : And also very stupid
Lawrence Weiskoff : Anyway... anyway at the last minute, I... I lost my nerve, I chickened out, I couldn't do it. I tried to call her and stop her, but..uh... but It was too late. Oh God, when I think what I've done, I could kill myself. Almost !
Capt. Barney Miller : Fish, might as well take hs statement
Det. Phil Fish : Yeah
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Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : That has to simmer for a while
Capt. Barney Miller : Why ?
Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana : It's the rules. You want some when its ready.
Capt. Barney Miller : No, no, no, thank you. The culture shock might kill me