- Capt. Barney Miller: You know, the first years were really the best. I mean, we really thought we would make a difference. We were out there everyday, busting our tails, me, Baxter, Crusen. My God, I'm starting to sound like Luger!
- Det. Ron Harris: Don't worry. We caught it early.
- Fred Bauer: [as the gloomy detectives watch while the jail-bound street musician plays a last slow, mournful blues of sublime melancholy on his horn and outside the window the fog grows thicker] What year is this?
- Capt. Barney Miller: Look, believe me, the promotion really doesn't matter. If I never make Deputy Inspector, I can live with it. It really doesn't matter. That's the problem, don't you see, its becoming harder and harder to keep a sense of purpose around here. I mean, we bring people in, we ship them out, nothing changes.
- Officer Carl Levitt: I need your last name first, first name second, and your initial, spell it.
- Fred Bauer: Bauer, B-A-U-E-R, Fred, F-R-E-D, W., D-O-U-B-L-E-U.