- Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich: Humor. It's as vital to a cop as his gun.
- Capt. Barney Miller: Depends on the caliber.
- Robert Joseph Wilmore: You know why I'm here?
- Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich: Yeah, I know why you're here.
- Robert Joseph Wilmore: Because I'm from Arkansas!
- Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich: Naw, we haven't enforced that for years.