- Yemana: He really is a werewolf, Barn. Look, he's got hair growing out of his face!
- Captain Barney Miller: That's a beard. Haven't you ever seen one?
- Yemana: Not in MY family.
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: Hey, uh, Barn, about that, uh, shot stuff, uh...
- Captain Barney Miller: You better get it quick.
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: Yeah, uh, I thought I'd just pass.
- Captain Barney Miller: Pass? What are you talking about? Didn't you just hear? There's an official epidemic.
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: Um, Barn - I got this thing about, uh, needles.
- Captain Barney Miller: That's because you're tired.
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: No it's not.
- Captain Barney Miller: Wojo, you gotta get the shot. If you don't get the shot you risk getting sick and you will subject your fellow officers to the same risk. You gotta get the shot.
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: I'll faint.
- Captain Barney Miller: Is that a threat?
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: It's a fact.
- Captain Barney Miller: What are you talking about? You were in the Marine Corps. You - You had shots all the time.
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: I fainted all the time. It was embarrassing. Guys standing around making stupid jokes.
- Captain Barney Miller: Wojo, you're gonna get the shot and you're not gonna faint.
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: Suppose I do?
- Captain Barney Miller: Then you won't hear the jokes.
- Captain Barney Miller: [Koepeknie howls] What the hell is that?
- Det. Ron Harris: It's Koepeknie, Barney, he's a werewolf.
- Yemana: [Koepeknie howls again] I better put some papers down in the cage.
- Stefan Koepeknie: I want to go home. I gotta get some sleep, and then I gotta go to worrrrrrk.
- [growls]
- Yemana: Barney!
- Miss Jackson: [after Wojo gets his shot] I'm going to need some cold towels and a blanket in here.
- Captain Barney Miller: He fainted?
- Miss Jackson: I'm afraid so.
- Captain Barney Miller: [Harris is smirking cockily] No jokes.