- Shame: [Shame faces Batman & Robin at High Noon in Westerntown] Draw.
- Batman: You and every other criminal know that I don't carry firearms, Shame.
- Shame: Well, then reach for your utility belts, so as I can do you in.
- Robin: Even the rottenest cowboy wouldn't gun down two unarmed men. It's against the code of the old west!
- Shame: Them rules don't count east of the Mississippi!
- Commissioner Gordon: Well, Batman, you've done it again. May I shake your glove?
- Batman: Of course, Commissioner.
- Narrator: [During bat-fight] Biff! Pow! Kapow! Boff! Zap! Splatt! Sock! Whamm! Eee-yow! Ooooff! Zowie! Thunk! Kayo
- Robin: These short Bat-climbs are harder than the longer ones.
- Batman: It takes a while to unlimber your muscles, Robin. It's all good training.
- [Once they reach the window, Col. Klink pops out]
- Batman: Colonel, what are you doing here in Gotham City?
- Colonel Klink: I am looking for an underground agent.
- Robin: One of ours or one of yours?
- Batman: And why at the Exposition Hall at the Coliseum?
- Colonel Klink: Who knows? You never know where you might find one.
- Batman: Be careful not to get picked up. Chief O'Hara can be very tough with aliens incognito.
- Colonel Klink: Incognito? With my monocle?
- Robin: Well, say hello to Col. Hogan for us.
- Colonel Klink: It's a wonder he hasn't tried to borrow your Bat-rope to pull another one of his escapes!
- [lets out an annoyed grunt and then shuts the window as Batman and Robin resume their Bat-climb]
- [last lines]
- Batman: [picks Andy up and sets him on top of Commissioner Gordon's desk] Well, what are you going to do now, Andy? You're not really a lost little boy.
- Andy Stevens: I was for a while, Batman, but you helped me find myself. I'm going straight to the department store and trade in this Western outfit for a Batman costume. I don't wanna be a cowboy anymore. I wanna be a hero like you, caped crime-fighter.
- Batman: Being a hero -- or a crime-fighter is not what counts the most, Andy. It's growing up to be a good citizen and if that's what you meant, it's the highest possible compliment that you could pay me.
- Shame: Good grief.